Thursday, June 29, 2017

This one goes in the book...

Over my 30 something years, I have often found myself in the most bizarre situations.  Many times I am walking away from them thinking...
How did that just happen?
How did I not just die of embarrassment?

Let's take a look-sey in the way back at just some of the strange happenings...

1.  The one time I decided to unleash my inner "sporty spice" and become a intermural volleyball player.  It was short lived, only one game, because I ended up hitting the ball and shattering all of the bones in my wrist and ended up with a quick lil trip to the e.r..

Okay... not strange enough.

2.  How about the one time where I went to hang out with a potential suitor, and when we walked into his house he emptied a packed of white powder on his coffee table... ummmmmmm, hello, it was as if I was a character in an after school special!  I quickly got uncomfortable, pacing, looking out windows (for what?  I do not know).  After he placed the powder in his water glass and lifted it to his mouth to drink, I rushed in to stop him telling him drugs are not cool... he did not have to do this... I am not impressed... he needed to take me home... or I'm walking.  He took me home (obvi, because I am a nut job), but not before telling me he was taking BC Powder for a headache.  Who knew?

3.  Remember murder scene at my old work... no, no, no, I did not murder anyone but I did leave that situation nearly dying of embarrassment.  If you are new here... the story is about things that rhyme with "fenestration".... if that makes you squeamish- or knowing that at anytime over the month I may be "fenustrating", then perhaps you should not click on the hyperlink!

4.  What about the time when I found out I have some odd disorder where I can turn 50 shades of blue, like an Avitar or a Smurf!  It is not everyday folks that you think you are having a stroke, and it turns out that ya just have Raynaud's Phenomenon!

5.  talking about 50 Shades... what about a me going to the Barnes and Noble asking for the 50 Shades book and asking where that book might be... and this gruff woman saying very loudly it was in the erotica section!  It was sooooo loud and in front of others (all judging)!  I followed the lady to the section (since I did not even know there was such a section in the store), and grabbed the book with my head held high and my underpits super sweaty (I do that when I get super uncomfortable and feel many people watching me)... then weaved in and out of the aisles and dumped 50 off in the self-help section.  Then I ran out the door!  In my defense, I did not really know what the book was about, a friend told me I would really enjoy the books, and that was all!  Ha!  That still makes me laugh!

Then there was this week, oh, ya know, when I was out doing government work at the local Wal-Mart.  Wha?  You thought I was working for the school district?  Nah, folks, that is just a cover for my real job!  A few days ago, after a long day at work, I ran up to the WM to pick up a few things for dinner.  I was in the store for about 20 minutes (somehow managed to spend $80 something dollars (on what... I have no idea, I really only got like 10 things)!  Anyways, I walk up to the checkout boy (yes, I chose the boy because I thought he would be a bit faster than geriatric Gen heading up line 9.... BIG MISTAKE.... HUGE!  I walk up, start putting my stuff on the counter.  Pre-teen is super cheerful and immediately asks if I found everything alright (which I always find that to be a strange question, because if I didn't I would still be roaming the place... I digress).  Anyways, I look at pre-teen to answer and that is when his eyes meet my gaze, and he kind of lights up.  It was a little strange, but there was a light.
He asks, "oh, do you work for the government!?"
Me....No (and you can imagine me looking at him like I am looking at my laundry room full of dirty clothes for me to wash).  My nose kinda up in the air, and I am not interested in it at all... kinda like I am not interested in pre-teen boy.
He was then looking at me like I was a fun new box of Legos!
Then, I started thinking how, awe... he is obviously hitting on me!  It was a weird pick up line, but maybe he was trying out his tricks on an older woman... me... and it was a sad attempt, but good for him for trying!
Then he leans a bit closer to me and says are you wearing a wire??
Me... No.
I am thinking how he def needs to work on his "how to talk to a lady skills", and then I let him know that I work for the school district.
Geez... who is this weirdo? Making me uncomfortable... (insert creepy guy emoji) can't he tell that I'm married... I have kids... and a dog!
I walked away thinking how if I ever see him again, I will completely avoid his line.  However, I did kinda walk away with a lil pep in my step, because that cute young guy/boy thought I was a cute "ole" gal.  He was trying to pick me up (and it was a sad attempt, but I felt like, humpf, I will for sure wear this shirt again and this sparklin' shade of chapstick!
  I am getting in the car, and I feel a sharp pain gouging my chest....... ummmmmm (not good, it coulda been the startings of a stroke, maybe a wasp sting, but nooooooo
it just happened to be the fa-reaking underwire of my bra.  It had come outta my bra and outta my button-up, and is sticking out of my shirt!
How many people, besides pre-teen, saw the inner workings of my undergarments?  I will never know.  Did they think I was wearing a wire?  Possibly on some sting operation at the local WM?
I am lucky I met my Aron when I did, cause if he met me now, I am not sure that he would be all about me and my "government work".

Monday, May 22, 2017

He found his love...

If you are one of the tens of people reading here, y'all know I am an over-sharer about my stuff and all of the things going on with my people.  Now, with that being said, my people may not always love having their faces all over the FB and my virtual scrapbook, but well... they'll be alright (as I have already mentioned, it's only tens of people reading anyways)!
Since the month of May has been filled with love and weddings for my family, I figured why stop with my Mary... we have had two weddings this month, and it is only the 22nd!  Let me reintroduce my Uncle David, isn't he cute??
Welp, sorry ladies!  He is finally off the market... and we all could not be more excited about it all!
Now, this is my uncle who I kinda thought would be the forever bachelor.  Comfortable with livin' the single life.  He has dated, but things just never worked out... (not sure why, because he's a catch... and I am not just saying that because he's my people... I write truth friends).
So, anyways, earlier this year (yes, it is only May) was checking out the FB and y'all know how the FB suggests people you might know and how y'all should be friends... well, that happened.
Turns out FB thought he should be friends with a lil lady named Tina.
Turns out, Tina was really a friend from the way back, like they dated at bit in high school and after high school!  So crazy, my uncle friended her... because when FB suggests it you just go along with it!  Whomp, whomp... turns out Tina was not interested in being his friend!  (that makes me laugh, but he persisted, and their FB friendship rekindled a spark... and that spark... well, it turns out that the spark started a fire which has turned into a wedding)!
It is funny how love happens or comes back to you when it is least expected!  I know I questioned the how fast it all went... but y'all, when you know... you know, and it is best to not let it slip away again!!  I am so glad that my Uncle David and Tina have found each other after all of this time.

Welcome to the family Tina!  We are so happy you are a part of it!

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Oh, Lovely Day

This is kind of wordy, but that is kinda my thing.  It is a buncha pictures with a very special story mixed in (and it has been shared with the person that I believe it was intended for (Mary Fran)), and now I want to keep it here for my memory.
Can I just say that this family vacay/ wedding celebration was the BEST time eva!  Finally, the BIG day had arrived, and we were countin' down the hours until the BIG event!

Seriously... we were getting anxious for her to walk down the aisle...

While we were sitting there I started to think about me and the man friend and our wedding!  Y'all, I can hardly believe it!  Almost eleven years, oh, what a ride.  We have experienced happy times and have also been together in the sad times, but no matter the time, I know that I always want to be with him.  Aron is definitely the best adventure I have ever been on and it gets better erry day!  Looking back on my own wedding week, there were so many memories:  family, I got Aron a puppy (which he never knew he wanted), and so much celebrating!  It was seriously the best time!
Below, you will see a picture of myself on the left, my Aunt Lauren, my mother, my grandmother, my Aunt Cathy, and my Aunt Diane on the end.  My Aunt Diane was such a precious precious woman that loved Jesus and loved her family.  I do not remember her ever saying anything unkind and I always remember her to be very stylish.  She was adored by all who knew her.
This picture was taken at our rehearsal dinner...
Oh, whatta night!
The next day, here we are with Mary (my Aunt Diane's daughter).  You may recognize her from previous posts... since I have been oh, so chatty about her big N'awlins wedding!  She was one of my junior bridesmaids, and I loved having her there as part of my day.
After this picture, we had the ceremony, a reception at the church, and then a second reception with dinner and dancing at The Embassy.  After reception one, we all headed over to The Embassy!  All were ready to have a good time.  Aron and I rode over in a limo full of excitement and with a hairdo full of birdseed!  (totally hate that I had people throwing seed at us, dumb decision)!  Anyways, we get to the reception, get out of the car and my heel went through the back of my dress... ripping a hole the size of Texas in the back (okay, maybe not Texas, but at that time it felt like Texas)!
So, hole in dress, birdseed in hair, and new husband says all is fine and heads into the reception!  Not a problem, we did have a ballroom full of guests so I encouraged him to go, and I stood outside the room feeling sorry about my dress and knowing that my parents had spent a pretty penny (not really a penny) on that dress and crying.  My parents had yet to get to the reception (they were loading up things from the church) and I was left alone outside a BIG party!  I was trying to fix my dress, but y'all, ya can't bustle your own wedding dress!
So, I am standing there, and my sweet Aunt Diane comes up....  she could obviously see that I was upset, and began asking questions...
She was all....What is wrong?
I was all.... sniffle sniffle... Everything is fine.
(she could tell I was full of lies!)
She was then...Your momma will be here soon.
What can I do to help you?
I showed her the dress and she immediately got on her knees and begins bustling my dress and fixing the fabric where no one would see the hole. 
Just her soothing voice kind of made everything better for me.

I told her how much I loved and appreciated her help with my dress when my momma was not there.  She said well, one day you will be able to help Mary with something on her wedding day or with her dress.  (kinda prophetic... kind of said in a way like she might be late to the reception like my momma was a little late).

I loved that moment that I had with her, she really eased every anxiety I was experiencing at that moment.

I have held onto that moment for almost 11 years, and had been wanting to tell Mary that story ever since she announced the engagement.  I just wanted to let her know I would be in the wings waiting in case she needed anything, any help, you named it I would get it done!  It just never seemed like an appropriate time, because I would hate to bring up her mother and an experience I had with her at my wedding and I would have never wanted it to make her sad that she would not share that same thing at her wedding.  (heavy stuff tens, heavy stuff)

Anyways, at the bridal luncheon, sitting with a few of the bridesmaids.  We were talking about the speeches from the previous night and a few stories about Mary, and they were sharing how they wanted to help remember Aunt Diane during this time and just what a precious woman she was. I told them my story about how on my wedding day she just swooped in from no where and well now you know the story.  I told them, well, maybe this is what my Aunt Diane was saying about helping Mary if she is needing help on her wedding... maybe I was supposed to just tell her friends to be there for her and help with whatever she needed or if she were to get a hole in her dress (not that I would want that to happen) or if the dress were to mess up in some way!  They agreed they would of course be there for their friends and help (duh, they are the bridesmaids, but I felt better telling them that Mary's momma told me to)!

I left the luncheon feeling good.  Thinking I told someone else to please be there for Mary, just like her mother was there for me.

Fast forward to the wedding day (it was beautiful).
Mary was a stunner...
There was one moment during the ceremony that we all took time to remember Aunt Diane and be reminded that she is watching over Mary and Kyle.  It was an amazing moment to be sitting there thinking about her and Mary and Kyle and then the breeze just started blowing... it was like a Pocahontas moment when the wind was blowing through the trees and you could just feel her presence there.

I just had such a strong feeling that she was there
Mary and her BIG brother Bryan
(I am sure that she is so proud of her two babies... y'all, they have grown up to be such wonderful people).
The wedding was amazing!
ummmm, hey!  Just so you are aware... there were alligators in that water behind them!  That's right friends, I was watching this amazing wedding, but out of the corner of my eye I was looking for gators!

When we walked into the reception, the music was playing (they were dancing their first dance... Lovely Day (I love that song) and the kids and I just loved standing watching she and Kyle dance (he is a fun dancer)!
During the dance with her daddy, my mother walked up behind me and said, someone needs to pin Mary's dress, someone is going to step on it and it will get messed up.
She walked by and stopped at my Aunt Lauren showed her something on the dress and asked her to fix it.  She looked at it and I could tell she was looking for something on the dress....
so I got on my knees next to her, behind Mary and began searching the lace for the loop that goes on the button to bustle the dress.  We found the loop, but it had ripped apart, and I then helped Aunt Lauren find the button to loop it to, and then we found some pins to hold the dress up with.  We fixed the dress and she was on her way.

It was a strange feeling to be sitting on the floor behind Mary just like her mother was for me so many years ago.  Even more strange that she told me I would need to do that for Mary on her day...

So thankful that I had that moment and she maybe pushed me to help in that moment.  It reassured me that she was there, with Kyle and Mary on their day, at that moment, and that she was there pushing me to go and help Aunt Lauren who could not see in that dark room!!

It was a sweet sweet moment, such a "Lovely Day"

The rest of the evening was filled with dancing... so much dancing, with some of my most favorite music.... 90s rap with a lil bit of Michael Jackson!!  I died and went to wedding reception heaven!
I will never forget watching my Moss wave her hand way up in the air dancing to Naughty By Nature and Snoop Dog!!  I... DIE!

I must be honest, our trip home was the longest ever, I was in a vacay/wedding hangover all week long!  Yesterday, I was finally feeling back to normal!

Can't wait to go back to New Orleans, so if any of the 10s reading know of a reason why we might need to come back... hit me up!