Sunday, August 30, 2015

Keeping it real...

Let me start by saying, this week has been rough on my momma heart.
This past Sunday night, I was putting Sophia in her bed and she looked at me with the saddest face explaining that she could not go to school on Monday.  She said she cries for me everyday, and just wants to be with me.  She misses me!  I explained we have to go to school to learn, and that it is just a new place, she is making friends, and this week would be fantastic! I was very surprised when she told me that she had no friends, and plays by herself.  Heart.... broken!
I went to bed wondering if this is her just being dramatic, because other times we have talked about school she has been excited.  I just could not figure out what had changed in the past few days.  So I just laid there and wondered what could "Supermom" do to fix this???
When we woke up in the morning, she was quick to tell me she had a sore throat and could not go to school.  I mentioned that I would call the dr and take her in, of course she said maybe her throat was okay and she just did not want to go to school.  We were on our way and she just cried, not a loud wailing, just her gazing out of the window with watering eyes (kinda whimpering).  It was pitiful.  Eventually, we got there with time to spare, and she walked in all by herself.
I messaged her teacher later that day to see what was going on, and found out that Sophia had been crying every morning, since day 1.  She would just tell her teacher how much she missed me and wanted to be with me (her momma).  She also said that she is terribly shy, and sometimes will play with people, but mostly by herself.  I just sat at my office reading and re-reading the email, I was in tears myself, thinking about my Red just walking around the playground, sobbing, longing to be with her momma (I think you can see where she gets her flair for the dramatics)!
As I sat at my desk, I am immediately questioning what I am doing as a momma.  Am I loving her well and does she know how wonderful she is?  My decision to go back to work.... did I go back too soon?  Or am I too much of a hover mom, and now my littles will always struggle with separation from me!  Grr, I thought I was doing all things right!!
Brayden, I think it is safe to say this tiny person has my heart.  Just a few days ago, after we dropped of Sophia at kindergarten, we were on our way to his school.  This is a good time for us to spend time together each morning.  He has my attention for 30 minutes or longer before his school starts.  I looked at him through the rear view mirror and he was just looking out the window and I asked what he was thinking about.  He never looked at me, but said, "momma, you never wanna be with me anymore, you just want to go to work".  I wish I coulda seen my face, pretty sure it was pitiful.  He was so serious and then cried saying he just wanted to be with me!
WHAT... ARE... THESE... PEOPLE.... TRYING.... TO... DO... TO... ME??
I parked the car and we talked about how much I love him and want to be with him all of the time, but I need to go to work and he needs to go to school to learn and be with his buddies.
What a week.  Here I was thinking I was doing so good getting them to school on time, making their lunch each morning, and getting their teeth brushed... and my littles have been sad and I had not even noticed!?
Momma- Whomp.... whomp
I know that this is a struggle that working parents have.  Have I made the right decision going back to work?  Will I regret this decision later on?  Are all of my people happy?  Am I happy?
When I went back to work, it was like an answered prayer.  It happened so quickly and the work place was very fun to go into everyday.  It was good to build new friendships and have time with other adults (not once did I have to feed anyone or help them go to the potty... it was a nice break).  I am approaching two years of being back at an office, and I still love this time.  I like the environment that I work in and my job.  For me, it is really all about the people, if you like the people ya work with, why think of leaving. 
Do other parents have this struggle?  I feel like I am being pulled in a ba-jillion directions, and I am a pleaser, I want to make everyone happy.  My husband.  My little people.  My family.  My work.  My friends.  Myself, I am somewhere in there, but a lot of the times there is not enough of me to go around, I feel like I am coming up short (everyday).  Did I mention, I have a 4 day work trip coming up, this could not happen at a worse time.  I know that Aron with have it under control, he's got this!
I am hoping that all of this is just them starting back on their new schedule in a new place with some new people.  Praying that this week, week 3, will be a better week!  Sophia especially needs a better week!

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Big day for the babies...

and their parents.  That is right y'all, the babies are no longer babies!  My littles are these people attending school!!  Sophia started kindergarten this week, and Brayden is in pre-k.  It has been BIG for them, and in total Caryn fashion I have made it super dramatic (this is just how I roll)!  I was talking to a girlfriend about it the other day, I am not sure why these tiny people growing up is so hard and so exciting (all in the same breath)!  I understand this is what they are supposed to do.  I knew going into this whole momma/ baby thing that they would grow up, I just feel like things are going at the speed of light!!  It needs to slow down!  Did I not just bring them home from the hospital??  Hello!
Sophia has started kindergarten, and girlfriend is loving it!  She really likes her teacher, and it made my momma heart happy to hear that she has a friend!  She is so shy when going into new groups, and normally will not talk to people, so I have been trying to encourage her to talk with other kids in her class, at least tell them her name.  So, I am happy that she is warming up to the new group quickly.  As a bonus, her teacher has sent out an email each day to let parents know what is going on (and I must admit.... I have looked her up on the Facebook!  That is right, I am a stalker, I did not ask to be friends, I am sure she appreciates the space.)  Ha!  She seems very nice, and I am so excited to see what this year brings.  This was on the meet the teacher day.  There were so many kids...and snow cones!  Best day ever!

I must tell about the first day (and the night before with cousins)! Yes, there was a big photo shoot!

 Let me start with.... geez Louise, school starts early here folks.  7:30!!  I... DIE!
Anyways, super early.  The traffic in our tiny town is ridic (with a capital R)!  I only live about 5 minutes from this school, I am leaving at 7 and barely getting there at 730!  I think parents are camping out in the parking lot and on the drive up street overnight.  Then, the pick up!  I am not even sure that the mommas are leaving from dropping their babies off!  I sat in the car line for about 50 minutes!!  The only bonus is I get to spend some alone time in the car with Brayden (but during that time he is constantly asking if we can go home and if I have any snacks)!  I am very lucky that Honey has volunteered to do the pickup from now on (have I mentioned I LOVE HONEY)!!
So anyway, day one drop off.  I park the car (not close to the school entrance), and we were speed walking to the classroom.  I hate that we could not enjoy the walk into school for the first time, it was very rushed (I did not want girlfriend to get a tardy on her first day).  So, we are speed walking,
zooming in between kids, I trying to NOT make direct eye contact with the weeping parents (I am weak, and they would cause me to crack.... so I must look away, eye on the prize, deliver Red).  We get into the classroom, and poor girl is winded, and I was just glad we made it with 1 minute to spare!  BOOM!  So, we hang up her bag and lunchbox, and her teacher tells her to take her seat.  She just looked so small, and my heart was being ripped out.  I wanted to go and sit with her, and hang out all day!  I just stood there and watched her look at the piece of paper in front of her chair.  She looked at me and gave a little half smile, and sat down.  I told her to have a good day and stepped out.  I just stood at the door and watched her for a few minutes.  She would color, and look up, I would wave, and then repeat.  My chin was quivering, and my eyes were watering.  I just could not help thinking about how she is growing up and is so amazing, and I am so lucky to do life with her.  After a few minutes of the back and forth, I stepped away from the door (Brayden was not into waiting any longer).  We left, and when I got in the car I just cried!  I worried that she was scared with me not at the door (I tell ya, I am dramatic)!

Now, Brayden, his first day was a piece of cake!  He was so ready to see his buddies again.  He attended this school last year, and we have all fallen in love with all of the precious women that take care of them.  They are so great.  So he was ready, and that made me feel the most comfortable about his drop off at school!  It is hard to believe that this guy will be 5 in just a few months, and that he is in this pre-k program!  Where did my baby go??!

I know they will have a great school year!!

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Timmy goes to college....

There are a few things that you should never say to a woman...
1.  Are you pregnant?
-  I have witnessed this question being asked to a friend of mine.  FYI, girlfriend was not PG, however she was super offended.  It was incredibly hurtful, and it was super uncomfortable for all involved (my friend, the asker, and myself).
2.  You look tired.
-  I have been told this numerous times.  The sad thing is I was not sleepy, had rested well the night before, and even thought I was looking good that day.
The last thing you should not say to a lady (especially a lady you do not know), well, let me set up the story.
Picture it.  A few days ago, I ventured off to a local store to pick up a sample for work.  I was not alone, I brought two of the guys I work with (JR and Timmy- remember, I use fake names here folks, I do not want the 10s of readers stalking my work friends!)  Just kidding.  So, the three of us walk to the back of the store and are looking at dorm room furniture, just a couple of young looking kids (myself is included) hanging out... or so I thought.
As the guys were geeking out over the construction of a chair (I say that with love, they are engineers and get super pumped about things that make my eyes glaze over), but anyway, they are geeking out and I am looking around (about 4 steps away from them).  This nice lady (AKA, wolf in sheep's clothing) walks up and begins to do the whole... ya need help, nice day, we have more of those in back...yadda, yadda, yadda.  I engage in this small talk, because I love to chit chat (especially with strangers) and I honestly I just did not have anything else going on.
So, as I start to turn away from "wolf in sheep's clothing" she kinda brings her hands up to her heart, like an "awwweeee moment", and then proceeds to ask about me getting my son all set up for college, and buying him furniture for his dorm room.
Surely this woman is mistaken.  I am looking over my shoulder, like o my gosh, is she talking to me?  Is she having a stroke, I mean 5 seconds ago we were small talking the weather, and now she is asking me about the man child I work with and thinking that I am staging his dorm room with furniture!!!
Was she nutzo?
Now, please note, I did not say this, but my thoughts were a little bit like this and a little bit not like this, hey lady, I look young, not like I just graduated yesterday young, but fa-reeking young!  I just got my new hair cut, I had on a cute outfit, I really even put forth effort and did my makeup really good (extra concealer and the bb cream), did she not notice?  I mean I ooze young!
I wish I coulda had one of those outta body experiences where you can see what you are looking like at that very moment, because I am sure my look was priceless.
Like, o no she di-en't!
I was hoping Larry and Moe had not heard her, because I woulda died right there in the store.  They would have never let me live that down and probably would have started calling me momma!
I simply muttered, "I'm not his momma".  Then I let her know, that the man child who was standing behind me had already graduated.
Really y'all.  This boy Timmy is like 10 feet tall (and by 10 feet, I mean like close to 6 feet), has dark hair, and IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE I COULD BIRTH HIM AT ALL!  What is wrong with people?  I was finally feeling good about me and all my business, and now this woman has me looking into all things botox and making me feel like I should start shopping at Forever 21 or Hot Topic.  Geez.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Stay at home momma...

Well, I am on day number 2 of my vacation.  I am spending it with the kids at home, and I am SO very thrilled about it.  We are not planning a big vacation this year, so I just decided to take a few days off, and spend them at home with my littlest loves.  I am just going to put it out there, the time with them is so wonderful (there is nothing sarcastic about that statement, I am soaking this time up).  Sure there have been fights and a bit of grumpy attitudes, but this time is so fun.  It makes me miss when I was able to be at home with them (like really miss it).  I am not mad that I went back to work, I truly got lucky with the job I am in. However, there have been times over the past few years where I have thought (deep thoughts) did I make the right decision or will I regret not spending all of this time at home with them.  So, these few days, I am just loving these moments.  We are not terribly busy.  We have been to the local children's museum, a junk store or 2, the Wal-Mart, the splash park, played Barbies, colored, even played some Ninja Turtles on the Nintendo.  Right now I decided to finally take a seat and blog about the day, Sophia is having some quiet time, and Brayden is watching the new Alvin and the Chipmunks (can y'all believe they have remade this cartoon, it is a BIG hit in our house)!

Looks like the quiet time is ending, stay at home momma has to go back to "work"!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Tuesday tidbits..

I feel like I am doing pretty well, I do believe this is at least 3-4 times blogging in the month of July!  I think it is safe to say...
I have missed blogging on the reg.  I am a rambler, an over sharer, love to tell a good story, and I love to write down the sweet memories we are making each day.  The past many months I have been slacking on the blog, and I hate it!

I figure since I am finally back, but do not have much to discuss, I would do a few Tuesday tidbits...
1.  I had a lunch date today!  With one of my besties Kim!
It had been a super strange morning, like one of those morning where you know that God is testing you and your patience by putting a person in your path and what you are supposed to do is keep it Christian and love them, but they just make you nutzo sometimes.  Yes, I was tested and I failed and Mexican food was the only way to help me feel better about my day.  We went to a local place and I ordered the same thing as always, a taco salad.  Every time I order, it is always cold and gross, but I keep on keeping on, because I feel that this could be a great dish for me, if it was warm.

2.  Tonight, Aron was painting in our bedroom.  It will be gray (not blue gray or green gray, but gray gray).  super excited for the reveal, as the previous grays I have chosen (and that are on our kitchen, living room, and bathroom, are really all blue gray or green grays!  (ya follow?)  Any ways, Aron has already finished the trim along the walls, it has been painted white! I just know that by tomorrow, we will be able to sleep in our freshly painted bedroom!!  Next it will be onto the master bathroom and finish painting the mantle and front door frame white... did I mention we are having a house full on Sunday for Sophia's birthday?  We shall see what is completed by this time!!

3.  Speaking of a party this weekend, at our house, I am just looking around at all of the clutter in our home.  I am getting ready to do a spring cleanin' in the summer!  I am feeling the need to get rid of stuff and organize... or I may just look on Pinterest for ideas on how to organize our home for a month, and then the summer clean up time frame will be long gone.  Ha!!

4.  So, tomorrow is Wednesday, and Sophia is turning 6 on Sunday.  (did I mention we will have our family over to celebrate on that day?)  Did I mention she will be 6?  Have I mentioned that I have not even ordered the child a cake?  #TotalMomFail #BirthdayShmirthday #TomorrowWillBeBusy  #PoorPlanner

5.  It is just a few minutes before 11.  The house is quiet besides the hummmm of the dryer and I am sitting alone.... eating my second piece of birthday cake.  I am super tempted to go and grab a half piece and shove it in my mouth, but really, who needs 2 1/2 pieces of birthday cake, at 11p.m., before they go to bed??

6.  Just a funny tid-bit, I fell asleep in between tid-bit 2 and 3.  Do y'all think I fell into a sugar coma?

7.  Last one.  I let the littles stay up late tonight.  I sat with them on the couch and we watched Shrek, they love that green ogre.  It was just a few minutes before 10 before they were all tucked in (oh, returning back to school is going to be a rough time... for all of us)!

Help, my kid only eats ketchup!

Okay, the title of the post may seem a little dramatic, but I had to be a wee bit ridic with my header in order to get your attention.  I need help!  It is time for real talk, and I hope that some of you are willing to share, because this ain't no joke, this momma needs help!  The things that I am going to reveal to you (10s of readers) are only going to show you that I am not that momma that is feeding my littles healthy snacks or meals.  You will soon find out that while Aron and I are eating well, my people are eating sad foods:  nuggets, peanut butter and jellies, and ketchup!! 
Today it must stop!!

In the next few weeks, the kids will be returning to school.  I am excited for Bray to get back with school, since I love all of his teachers, and Sophia, well it is gonna be hard to get her to school at 7:30 (eeek, it makes me super stressed) and it is kindergarten (whaaaaaaaa, she is growing up).  Anyways, with their time out of school, I have really been trying to figure out new snacks and foods that my wee ones will eat.  Sophia is not as challenging.  She will try things, eat what we eat, and is just very agreeable.  Now, the other child, I am at a loss. I mean really, how many times can you eat chicken nuggets, rolls, pizza, or jelly sandwiches (not all in one day, I am talking meals people)!?  These are the only things that he will really eat.

I have tried the whole bit of, "I am only cooking one meal and you will sit here until you eat it."

Each time the ultimatum has been thrown down, my little plays it tough.  This kid will sit there until the end of time, he would rather starve than try a hamburger, lasagna, a vegetable, or piece of cheese!
He just loves a challenge, and I just do not get it.  For the longest time he would only eat ketchup, I know, ketchup.  It is a fa-reeking condiment, not a meal replacement!!
I have read the comments of my momma friends who are able to wake up and half apples and fill the innerds with peanut butter and then smush them back together and wrap them in saran wrap (good for you)- my kid would chunk that and trade it for ketchup!
I have the friends that will serve their child hummus and veggies for a healthy treat (really, this is not happening, my child would look at that and say that it hurts his belly to look at it.... and then cry!)  FYI, I would not even eat hummus, sounds icky.
Then there are the friends who are sending their littles to school with fish sticks and such (my little will only eat things shaped like a nugget... the nugget of a chicken).
Seriously, what time are you mommas getting up to make your children's lunches look like they should be in some sort of food museum???

I know it seems like I am poking fun at other mommas who have these amazing eaters (I am only half making fun and the other half of me is super jealous that your kid eats from each part of the food triangle).

 I just want to feel like I am not making the same things over and over, and I want to know if I make something new that my kid will eat it.

Really, I am not sure I would eat this.
Seriously, how are you getting your child to eat different foods (are you paying them, do you buy them a toy each time they take a bite)?

I need to know!  I am also wanting to know what other things I can make for lunch and dinner?

Monday, July 27, 2015

Today is Caryn's birthday...

happy birthday to her, she's a big girl!
Today is Caryn's birthday...
happy birthday!
happy birthday, to you!
To you!  To you!!
Yes, I know I just typed that song out for myself, but when I was little, and it was my birthday, my momma would sing this little birthday song to me.  This morning, it only seemed fitting that I wake up and hum it to myself.
That is right y'all!  I am 36 today, it is my BIG day!  I wish I could say I spent the day lounging about and relaxing, but I woke up a little late, went to work, and have spent the evening on the couch with my people watching American Ninja Warrior!
I know, big stuff here.  I feel like it was just yesterday that I would spend my birthday (or really, the week of my birthday) celebrating with some of my most favorite girlfriends and boyfriends (not boys I was dating, don't want to seem like a floozy, but my guy friends that I love like brothers)!  It was always such a fun week, but I am afraid if I celebrated like that these days, I may have to take a week off from work to re-coop!  (ain't nobody got time for that)!
Anyways, things have changed!  Here I am at 36, sitting on the couch surrounded by the people I love most and that love me best!  This seems just as good as my week long birthday celebrations!
My birthday weekend was so nice.  Saturday morning, I went to breakfast with my girlfriend Regan.  This is something that I never get to do.  Breakfast with a girlfriend?  Breakfast with Regan?   Nope, unheard of!  She has children, I have children, and we were able to get out, alone, no children!!  Then, I took the kiddos to a birthday swimming party.  The rest of the day was spent hanging out at the house until we went to dinner at my Moss' house (FYI, if you are new here, a Moss is my grandmother).  Dinner was delicious, and the company was family, so this was a happy time.  Sunday we woke up and made it to church.  I was so glad that we were able to go, it seems like forever since we had attended, and I was so happy to be back.  Nothing better that starting your week off with Jesus (I have been missing this).  Sunday afternoon, it was about a bajillion degrees out (really 97ish) so I just wanted to stay inside and hang out.  I really lounged around watching Aron paint the wood trim in our bedroom and rented a movie on VUDU,  Far From the Madding Crowd.... loved it!!  That night for supper my parents hosted my people for a birthday celebration.  It was good to be with my family and friends that I consider family, I do not know how many times I looked around the room and just grinned from ear to ear thinking how lucky I am to have all of these people in my life.  I am a lucky girl for sure, and loved so well.

Even though my day was spent at the office, it was still good.  I was greeted with happy faces of friends, and was able to have a yummy birthday lunch with my Suzie (if you don't have a Suzie, you should get one), and was sent so many sweet messages and texts from others who I do not see on the reg!  After work I was able to come home and spend a few minutes alone, PTL for my Aron who took the kids to gymnastics, by himself.  I may have said that I would start dinner (and I may have lied) instead I just sat in the chair looking at the fireplace, thinking, "I am 36, this is 36".  It was not a sad revelation, just a revelation.
35 is over, and the year was good, but I am ready for what 36 has to bring.  The kids start school in a few weeks, Sophia will begin kindergarten and she is turning 6 (insert sniffle, sniffle, sob), Brayden will move up to big boy gymnastics next week and he will soon turn 5 (what??!  sniffle, sniffle, sob).  Me and my lov-a will be celebrating 9 years of marriage (that is crazy).  I am approaching my 2 year mark of returning back to the workforce, and it has really been a good thing.  The man friend has been working like crazy to get our house back in order (I guess he does not like the unfinished painting of trim and walls all throughout the house, so he is finishing it up for me... since my clickity clack back has still been out of whack).  We have even been discussing moving.
There are just so many big things for our future.  I know the last few months had been so unexpected, but I truly feel that we are coming out of the storm and things are going to be BIG!  I am really ready to just relax and enjoy things.  I feel like I have always been such a planner, always in a rush, rushing to get up in the morning, rushing to get out of the door, rushing to get meals eaten and cleaned up, rushing to get people bathed and in bed, rushing all around to I can hurry and get to bed.  I am constantly thinking, I cannot wait until bedtime, I cannot wait until Friday, and then Monday comes and I am thinking I cannot wait until it is the weekend.  Rushing all of these moments, and I need to take a chill pill. Time is just flying by, and I do not want to miss it or have my children think that I was always in a hurry!!  I am ready to enjoy my moments.

Stop rushing so much, and enjoy 36!!