Monday, September 18, 2017

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up...

Y'all remember that sweet old lady that somehow fell out of the bathtub fully clothed in that Life Alert commercial?  Well, let me refresh ya memory...
That poor ole gal, so sad as she is wedged in that corner, so scared and alone.  Welp, I can honestly say that I have laughed at that commercial, heeeeeelp!  She sounded so pitiful!
Strangely enough, I thought of this fully clothed lady sprawled out on her bathroom floor on Sunday.  Ya see, I too was calling for hhhhhhheeeeeelllllllllllllppp!  Yes, friends.  I was stepping out of the shower to reach for a towel, stepping over the dog, and as I put all of the weight back on right leg (still in the shower) I slipped and fell!
Yes, I know, busted it right in the shower!
It happened so quickly, but I immediately knew something was broken, just not sure what!  I called for Sophia who was right outside the door (she had been fighting with brother and was having a bit of time out to think about attitudes (this is a think we think about often).
I called for her calmly to go and get her daddy and tell him that he will need to take me to the hospital, because I broke my leg!  Looking back, I prob would not have said that to small child, I had no idea that she would get so upset, but she remained brave and got her daddy for help.  Such a good girl.  There I was, sitting in the shower, fetal position, in tremendous pain, thinking how was I going to "use the force" and levitate right outta that shower??  Hummmm.
Aron ran in... I am sure he just thought I was being dramatic, but I explained he would be taking me to the hospital, but first I'd have to get out of the shower, get dressed, and we would need to call my parents for help.  He realized I was very serious.  The kids were sitting in the hallway watching my every move (my every necked move)!  That is right y'all, my old lady friend in above pic fell with a nice bathrobe on, I had no bathrobe, just a big ole bunch of anatomy colored in pale and cellulite!  It was such a site, a scary site, but a site.  This is prob what brought on the tears!
Still staying calm, I asked Aron to get me underware and a dress, I asked for Sophia to find my deodorant, and Brayden to assist me with my face moisturizer!  Yes, I was in pain, but I had to keep my troops believing that I was okay!
My parents arrived and we kind of analyzed the situation, and they decided it would be best that I sit on a kitchen chair and they carry me out to the car (kind of like my throne)!  As if the injury wasn't scary enough!  I get to the car and just prayed the whole way there!
We got in fast, such a praise, but we were there for hours!
I have for sure had better times, but at least I was there with the man friend, my daddy, and one of the brothas... so I knew I was in good hands and my guys would not let anything happen to me.
We finally received the news my leg was in fact broken!  I was surprised, I mean it is Sunday morning and I had stuff to do that day!  I guess God had other plans for me to just be.... still, and hang out with my momma!  We are going to enjoy this time sooooo much!!  So, if you need me, I will be at home for the next weeks......... broken bits and all!  Get ready for the blog to blow up, it seems that I have run into a bit of spare time!!

Until tomorrow!!

Sunday, September 10, 2017

There She Is..... Miss America

It has been a long night of talent watching, swimsuit prancing, and evening gown selecting at the Foresee house!  I was super excited to introduce Sophia to the Miss America Pageant!  I would watch the pageants growing up and just love choosing my winner and seeing how far the lady gets!  Well, tonight, Sophia jumped in the bed and was making lists with me!  Her bedtime is normally at 8:30, but she almost started crying because she would never know who won the contest (even though we could have DVRd the show), but whatev... I let her stay up!
I am sure her teacher will love her sweet precious attitude tomorrow, and I am hopeful that she does not fall asleep in class!
We made our lists... my list always includes
1.  Miss Arkansas (hello, I live here)
2.  Miss Louisiana (hello, this is where I come from)
Now, these ladies could have the most hideous dresses or do the most ridic talent, and they will ALWAYS be at the top of my list!  They are kinda like my R, S, and T... you know, those are the letters that you should always select if you are ever on Wheel of Fortune (#JustSaying #ProvenFact #OrMaybeIJustMadeThatUp)
Sadly, Miss Arkansas did not make the top 15, but that was okay, since Miss America 2017 Savvy Shields was from Arkansas,
so that would have probably been a bit sketch for us to win 2 years in a row!  I mean has that ever happened?
Just an FYI... I looked that up and yes, it has!
2013, 2014, 2015 Miss New York (wha?  3 years in a row)
1958 and 1959... Miss Mississippi (seriously the most s's on a sash #JustSaying)
1935 and 1936 Miss Pennsylvania two years in a row!
There you have it, the more you know... the more you grow (ding, ding, ding, diiiiiing)
Anyways, Miss North Dakota won tonight.
I shoulda known early on that she would win, her talent was dancing to Michael Jackson's, The Way You Make Me Feel (Hello, that is a classic and can always win a crowd over!)  In fact, as she was dancing, Sophia said, "okay, just put her as one of my top people because she is dancing to Michael Jackson!"  (out of the mouth of a babe)
After the talent portion, I chose Miss Alabama to win...
I know, I know.  Alabama?  Y'all, she sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and I just knew she won it!  Welp, not so much!
After she did not get selected for the next round, I just did not want to play anymore!
Then I stuck with Miss Missouri... and she did not win either!
Sophia had chosen Miss Texas as one of her top people... she had already let me know whoever can do a one handed walkover will win this thing!!
When she saw Miss Texas flip on that stage... that was her winner!
Sadly, our picks doth not make a Miss America!  Whomp... whomp!
Kudos to Miss North Dakota, you are lovely.
I cannot wait to watch another pageant with Sophia, she crawled into her bed and told me she wants to be Miss America one day.  Big dreams for my Little Red... I love her.
I had that same dream too as a little girl.  One of the first pageants I ever watched, was 1988, throwing it waaaaaaaay back!  I can remember watching it with my momma.  As soon as I saw Miss Louisiana walk that stage, I just knew she would win it.  Her name was Patricia Brant, and her talent was that she was a ventriloquist!  Loved that!  Sadly, she did not win, but she was the 1st runner up (that pageant was obvi rigged!)
Anyways, fast forward a month or so, I am in a parking lot with my momma and this woman gets out of her car, and I looked at my mother star struck and said that is Miss Louisiana... I want to talk to her!  My mother stops her, and explains that I wanted her to win Miss America, I chose her to win as soon as I saw her introduce herself!  She was so sweet, touched my shoulder and asked what my name was.......
and crickets.
I said nothing!
How old are you.....
and crickets.
I said nothing!
Would you like an autograph (I was holding a envelope from my mother's purse)...
and crickets.
I gave her nothing a said nothing!
Y'all, I just stood there, mouth breathing, holding a ripped in half envelope!
PTL for momma, answering all of her questions and handing her my envelope.
I was so star struck!
That was my brush with fame, and I choked!

Anyways, I loved that nearly 30 years ago I would watch these shows with my mother, and tonight I just came full circle watching the pageant with my Sophia. 

Friday, September 8, 2017

Frozen balls and too tight prom dresses...

I know that you have popped in thinking today's post sounds a bit inappropes, but y'all know my posts are normally PG... so sorry, come back tomorrow!
So much has been happening at casa de Foresee.  We have been busy with school starting back, family fun, and extra-curriculars!  Each week that ends, I think I will be better and more organized when the next Monday comes... and each Monday I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off!  So, today I say, this coming Monday I will be ready for the week!  Meals will be planned, laundry will be done and put away, and the kids will have money in their lunch accounts at school!  Every... single... day.... I get an email or call saying they have noooo money!  Geez, get with it Caryn, make a deposit!  Grrrrrr!!  You have heard it hear... gauntlet has been thrown down!  Organization and easy breezy living is a coming!
(10 bucks says I wake up late that morning and send the kids to school in sandals, shorts, and a t-shirt and it will be 50 degrees and raining!)
Anyways, back to this morning.... I wake up in a panic from what I can only call it is a nightmare!  I am in the deep helping to plan my 20 year high school reunion.  I have had so much fun getting together with friends, reminiscing about the way back, and planning a fun weekend for people to come together!  I am so excited to see old friends and hear what they have been up to (I kinda see it everyday, since I am friends on FB with many of the people I graduated with, but it will be fun to be standing in a room with them)!  Anyways, the dream.  So, I dreamed last night that my babysitter showed up to watch the kids, man friend was dressed and ready to go, and I had just gotten out of the shower!  I was running late and a car full of friends was arriving to pick us up... and I was in a towel!  Man friend is trying to rush me and I run to the closet to get my clothes, and all my clothes were gone!  It was like someone robbed la casa de Foresee and they only wanted my cardigans, mom jeans, flowy tops, and sundresses!!!  WHY???!!!  All that the robbers left me was my old prom dress and a pair of spanx (praise the Lord!)!  What's a girl to do, well this girl had no choice... a towel or a prom dress!!
What would you do?
Welp, I pulled on that dress.  It was horrible.  I cried.  I was sweating, profusely (I guess I was really having to work to get this dress on, it was almost like it was spandex)!  I get it on, and it could not zip, because I was once a zero and now my size welllllll, it has a zero in it!  Ha!  So, here I am, a vision, in my old prom dress with a low cut back, not zipped, exposing my nude color spanx!  I.... DIE!!  I walked out and man friend just rushed me to the car (with my friends in it), and no one said a word)!  Kinda reminded me of having food in your teeth and no one tells you about it and ya walk around looking like a weirdo!  I walk into the reunion and everyone is staring and laughing!
Dream translators... go for it!
While I woke up in a panic... earlier than normal, this did not make me jump up and rush to get my day started!  I almost forgot today is food day at my work!  I signed up to bring meatballs... FYI, they are pretty frozen, because I just started them.  Everyone will be thrilled to take a bite outta my frozen meatballs!  This was def not a well planned food for my food day!!
Happy Friday, so glad the weekend is upon us!

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Thou shalt not....

ride an 8 year olds bike, while walking the dog, while the 8 year old is standing on the back of the bike...  I believe this is in the Bible, seriously, I think I read it on page 32.

Anyways, our summer has almost ended at la casa de Foresee.  We have been trying to spend our days and evenings busy (doing anything in the world besides sitting and holding an IPAD... FYI, I loathe the IPAD)!  If we are not at childcare or at work, we are busying our bodies playing outside:  soccer, bike riding, basketball, strolling the downtown area, or even hanging out at the local playground.  Our days will soon be full of early mornings, school, homework, and extra-curricular activities, so we are just trying to enjoy these last few days of freedom!  Ugh.... how I will miss summer.
One thing that has been BIG on our to-do list was get the kids riding their bikes WITHOUT training wheels!  We practiced with Red over a year ago, she threw a huge fit, acted like we were trying to kill her, and she let us know she would never ride on that "death trap" (my words, not hers) until we put those trainers back on!  Well, we played hard ball and said we would not be doing that, she needed to practice!  HUGE FAIL, because it took over a year for her interest to spike.  Within two days girlfriend figured it out... lil brother got it too (the same day), but since he likes to go fast down hills he has asked to put the trainers back on for a bit.  He has also figured out how to take them off himself, so he just kinda does what he wants with those things, one day they are off, one day they are back on the bike!
Today, we woke up (super early, because that is how my family rolls, they hate sleep, especially sleeping in on a weekend, before school starts back.  They only like sleep on days when you have to wake them up to take them to school!)  Anyways, we rise and man friend suggests that we go to a local spot for breakfast (who can refuse that, I did not feel like cooking anything for these people... go ahead, judge me).  After that we walked around our square's farmers market, then stopped at one of the schools playgrounds to play.  It was a fun morning.  Normal people would have called it a day, I mean, we just ate... a lot of food, and played outside, and it looks like rain... so let's stay in and binge watch Netflix shows???  Wha?  No one?  Welp, we come in for a pee break and then my 3 active people decided we should go bike riding.  Normally this leaves me out (I do not have a bike, it is not my thing, the seats are hard, and I am not into pedaling stuff, or getting hot, or leg cramps) so I just stay at home during these trail ventures.  Not, today.  Today, I decided I would take our show dog Chippers (who Bray has started to call Chappers, which is confusing to the dog, but I am going with it), along for the trip.  My guy loaded up all of the bikes, 1 child, and 1 helmet (because that is just what happened... that's right, I guess we are not all about safety at our house, but I figure I never wore any sort of protective gear when riding a bike and I survived 1984-1996, so here's hoping the Foresee wee-babes have the same skill), and I loaded up the dog and Bray in my car and off we went to the trails.
I am just gonna be honest, I went to really just walk the dog.  I never thought that anyone in my family would be riding their bikes to my walking speed...
1.  because I am slow
2.  because that would make for a dumb bike ride
and 3.  because I am slow
Well, ya never know what you are gonna get with my crew.  Red is now riding her new bike (which is not the bike she learned to ride with no training wheels).  She says it's a bit big, so every few pedals she acts like she is going to fall and stops.  Then she gets mad and does a whiny thing.  I just try to be encouraging and build her up... but kinda want to run into the woods and leave her on the trail.  Anyways, man friend and Bray ride a bit and then come back to me, the dog, and a whiny Red, it is annoying so I just tell them to go on, it is hard to maneuver a dog in-between three people stopping and go-ing on their bikes!  Finally, the boys ride on and leave me with the little lady who has now decided she will not only whine but say that she really doesn't want to ride her bike, she'd rather walk it!
Want.  to pull.. my hair out!!
I just tried to walk faster thinking that she will get on the bike to keep up, but this chick came to play!  She keeps on walking and then takes off her helmet!
I start cussing myself on that trail (wha, no one can hear me), and then the dog stops.... 3rd stop to poop (yes, 3rd)!  Then the poop is no longer poop it is diarrhea!  Duh, why wouldn't this be happening right now!  People are walking by, looking at me like why don't you pick that up.... and I just want to say I left my syringe at home folks, get to stepping!  Then they are probably thinking she's not parenting well... leaving her sad child in the dust!  After what felt like 4 miles (but was probably only .5) we stopped at a little playground, and of course one of the kids has to pee!  (Which this makes me nuts, because I told everyone to go before we left)!
So, we start to head back quickly to the car, and she cries and says she is just gonna walk the bike back!  Grrrrrrr!!!
I tell the boys to ride on, we will catch up (when I say "we" I mean me, the "bike-walker", and "diarrhea dog".  We are quite a trio.
I take the bike and tell her I will ride it back and walk the dog and she needed to pick up the pace.  Ha!  That did not happen!  She... be.... slow when she is upset.
So, I am riding, the dog is stopping to poooh, and she's still upset (because now I have her bike)!  So now I look like a momma who makes her kid walk and steals their bike!  I am the worst!
I finally turn back to her and tell her to come on.  She has these pegs on the back of the bike for someone to stand on... I tell her to jump on and I will drive the bike!  The first two minutes she is squeezing my neck for dear life, saying that I am going to crash and hurt her head!  Trail people are def judging me now (especially since her helmet was hanging on the handlebars), did I mention I am still walking "diarrhea dog"?  It is hot mess express!!
Finally she loosens up her grip, which was good because I kinda lost the flow of oxygen to my brain and was in and out of consciousness, and she begins to enjoy the trail ride!  After going up a tiny hill, I am heavy panting and sweating profusely, and we are approaching the dog park of the trail!
Now every dog is interested in my dog, so he wants to stop and greet all of them through the fence (did I mention his IBS has still not stopped?)!  Lawd y'all!
I just wanted to ditch the bike, the girl, the dog, and my boys who were standing like a couple of cool kids leaning up against the rest area building (I wanted to yell, it's cool, I got this Foresee, you just stay there)!

We get to the car, and I just get off the bike and say I am out.  I head for the car (walking a bit funny because my lady bits are prob bruised and broken), I put Bray in the back of the car, loaded poo-poo in the front seat and we go!  I was done!  This was not part of my plan for the day, and I was just wanting to be out for a leisurely stroll, but noooooo, I spent 30 minutes riding a 8 year olds bike, with her standing on the back, walking my dog who was having a bout of irritable bowel syndrome!
If ya need me... I'll be sitting on ice (I hear that helps with swelling).

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Look out 38

I am just gonna throw this out there... I am a HUGE fan of birthdays (mine included)!  I love the hugs, the "happy birthdays", the cake is always a bonus, and being loved on by my people.  I have been surrounded by the people that love me best and most, my family.  We are currently on our last few days of vacation, and I was very fortunate to celebrate the start of year 38 at the beach!  Here we are after a yummy lunch at that Shrimp Basket (we I decided that we needed to rest a bit before we go out to the beach and play)... looks like one of us was not interested in resting (Bray)!
Over the week, I have been able to reflect over this past year, and what a time it has been.  I was able to spend some time at home with the kids (deciding what my next job role would be), spent a lot of time volunteering at their school and even took on a PTO role, tried my hand at substituting (which I adored), applied for a job with our local school district and got it, the man friend and I celebrated 10 years of marriage, I tried to run that marathon (got rained out, but at least I signed up and practiced), we traveled to New Orleans, there was that stint when I worked with government (not so much, but the people at the WM think I do), and I lost a precious friend and that loss reminded me to be more intentional with my relationships and invest more into people.  The year has had its highs and lows, and I cannot wait to see what year 38 will bring.
If this week is any indication of what is to come...


then look out 38!!

Thursday, June 29, 2017

This one goes in the book...

Over my 30 something years, I have often found myself in the most bizarre situations.  Many times I am walking away from them thinking...
How did that just happen?
How did I not just die of embarrassment?

Let's take a look-sey in the way back at just some of the strange happenings...

1.  The one time I decided to unleash my inner "sporty spice" and become a intermural volleyball player.  It was short lived, only one game, because I ended up hitting the ball and shattering all of the bones in my wrist and ended up with a quick lil trip to the e.r..

Okay... not strange enough.

2.  How about the one time where I went to hang out with a potential suitor, and when we walked into his house he emptied a packed of white powder on his coffee table... ummmmmmm, hello, it was as if I was a character in an after school special!  I quickly got uncomfortable, pacing, looking out windows (for what?  I do not know).  After he placed the powder in his water glass and lifted it to his mouth to drink, I rushed in to stop him telling him drugs are not cool... he did not have to do this... I am not impressed... he needed to take me home... or I'm walking.  He took me home (obvi, because I am a nut job), but not before telling me he was taking BC Powder for a headache.  Who knew?

3.  Remember murder scene at my old work... no, no, no, I did not murder anyone but I did leave that situation nearly dying of embarrassment.  If you are new here... the story is about things that rhyme with "fenestration".... if that makes you squeamish- or knowing that at anytime over the month I may be "fenustrating", then perhaps you should not click on the hyperlink!

4.  What about the time when I found out I have some odd disorder where I can turn 50 shades of blue, like an Avitar or a Smurf!  It is not everyday folks that you think you are having a stroke, and it turns out that ya just have Raynaud's Phenomenon!

5.  talking about 50 Shades... what about a me going to the Barnes and Noble asking for the 50 Shades book and asking where that book might be... and this gruff woman saying very loudly it was in the erotica section!  It was sooooo loud and in front of others (all judging)!  I followed the lady to the section (since I did not even know there was such a section in the store), and grabbed the book with my head held high and my underpits super sweaty (I do that when I get super uncomfortable and feel many people watching me)... then weaved in and out of the aisles and dumped 50 off in the self-help section.  Then I ran out the door!  In my defense, I did not really know what the book was about, a friend told me I would really enjoy the books, and that was all!  Ha!  That still makes me laugh!

Then there was this week, oh, ya know, when I was out doing government work at the local Wal-Mart.  Wha?  You thought I was working for the school district?  Nah, folks, that is just a cover for my real job!  A few days ago, after a long day at work, I ran up to the WM to pick up a few things for dinner.  I was in the store for about 20 minutes (somehow managed to spend $80 something dollars (on what... I have no idea, I really only got like 10 things)!  Anyways, I walk up to the checkout boy (yes, I chose the boy because I thought he would be a bit faster than geriatric Gen heading up line 9.... BIG MISTAKE.... HUGE!  I walk up, start putting my stuff on the counter.  Pre-teen is super cheerful and immediately asks if I found everything alright (which I always find that to be a strange question, because if I didn't I would still be roaming the place... I digress).  Anyways, I look at pre-teen to answer and that is when his eyes meet my gaze, and he kind of lights up.  It was a little strange, but there was a light.
He asks, "oh, do you work for the government!?"
Me....No (and you can imagine me looking at him like I am looking at my laundry room full of dirty clothes for me to wash).  My nose kinda up in the air, and I am not interested in it at all... kinda like I am not interested in pre-teen boy.
He was then looking at me like I was a fun new box of Legos!
Then, I started thinking how, awe... he is obviously hitting on me!  It was a weird pick up line, but maybe he was trying out his tricks on an older woman... me... and it was a sad attempt, but good for him for trying!
Then he leans a bit closer to me and says are you wearing a wire??
Me... No.
I am thinking how he def needs to work on his "how to talk to a lady skills", and then I let him know that I work for the school district.
Geez... who is this weirdo? Making me uncomfortable... (insert creepy guy emoji) can't he tell that I'm married... I have kids... and a dog!
I walked away thinking how if I ever see him again, I will completely avoid his line.  However, I did kinda walk away with a lil pep in my step, because that cute young guy/boy thought I was a cute "ole" gal.  He was trying to pick me up (and it was a sad attempt, but I felt like, humpf, I will for sure wear this shirt again and this sparklin' shade of chapstick!
  I am getting in the car, and I feel a sharp pain gouging my chest....... ummmmmm (not good, it coulda been the startings of a stroke, maybe a wasp sting, but nooooooo
it just happened to be the fa-reaking underwire of my bra.  It had come outta my bra and outta my button-up, and is sticking out of my shirt!
How many people, besides pre-teen, saw the inner workings of my undergarments?  I will never know.  Did they think I was wearing a wire?  Possibly on some sting operation at the local WM?
I am lucky I met my Aron when I did, cause if he met me now, I am not sure that he would be all about me and my "government work".

Monday, May 22, 2017

He found his love...

If you are one of the tens of people reading here, y'all know I am an over-sharer about my stuff and all of the things going on with my people.  Now, with that being said, my people may not always love having their faces all over the FB and my virtual scrapbook, but well... they'll be alright (as I have already mentioned, it's only tens of people reading anyways)!
Since the month of May has been filled with love and weddings for my family, I figured why stop with my Mary... we have had two weddings this month, and it is only the 22nd!  Let me reintroduce my Uncle David, isn't he cute??
Welp, sorry ladies!  He is finally off the market... and we all could not be more excited about it all!
Now, this is my uncle who I kinda thought would be the forever bachelor.  Comfortable with livin' the single life.  He has dated, but things just never worked out... (not sure why, because he's a catch... and I am not just saying that because he's my people... I write truth friends).
So, anyways, earlier this year (yes, it is only May) was checking out the FB and y'all know how the FB suggests people you might know and how y'all should be friends... well, that happened.
Turns out FB thought he should be friends with a lil lady named Tina.
Turns out, Tina was really a friend from the way back, like they dated at bit in high school and after high school!  So crazy, my uncle friended her... because when FB suggests it you just go along with it!  Whomp, whomp... turns out Tina was not interested in being his friend!  (that makes me laugh, but he persisted, and their FB friendship rekindled a spark... and that spark... well, it turns out that the spark started a fire which has turned into a wedding)!
It is funny how love happens or comes back to you when it is least expected!  I know I questioned the how fast it all went... but y'all, when you know... you know, and it is best to not let it slip away again!!  I am so glad that my Uncle David and Tina have found each other after all of this time.

Welcome to the family Tina!  We are so happy you are a part of it!