Saturday, April 27, 2013

Getting to know you.....

Getting to know all about you.....
I have decided it it is time I get back to the blog.  So much has gone undocumented, and my phone is full of pictures I should go ahead and delete off the phone (about 1400 of them, and it slows up the ole tele).  For tonights post, I am not really posting about anything recent, just some funny things that have crossed my mind lately.  Some may think they are strange (that is fine) some may think how incredibly odd that you would reveal such information (have we met?  Not much is off limits, love those awkward moments).  Some may read the thoughts and think, awe she's special (well, my family would agree with you).  If anything, these things should make you think, "Praise Jesus, this did not happen to me."  So, enjoy.

1.  When I was in college (woo pig)... Not that I'm a pig, but I attended the U of A Fayetteville, the Razorbacks, any who, on the weekends, okay who am I fooling most nights that ended in "y" I would be out with friends on the ole college strip, Dickson.  One evening, a guy who I was quite taken with invited some friends and me to go to his house.  I thought about it for like 3.4 seconds, and said I'll go (I must say, I was queen of putting myself in awkward situations with people I did not know so well) that being said on with the story.  So, I go with a few people, we get to the house and it is me, and a handful (1) handful of friends.... These were not my friends, at all, anyway, the boy I had been o so interested in opens up a package and dumps this white stuff out into his mouth, and kinda makes a gag face.  At that moment, it was as if time had stopped, I felt as though I was now a character in some after school special, I was even looking around for lights outside like the 5-0 (that's the police) would bust in at any second and take me to some prison, maybe even Alcatraz, I would never graduate college, or see if Dylan and Kelly would ever end up together..... No, I was not gonna go down like this, I was not prison material.  (Please note, all of this is going through my mind in a matter of a minute), and I stand up, grab my keys and say, "hey, I don't know what is going on here, but I don't do drugs and you shouldn't either.  I don't know what I thought would happen next, he would stand up and say you're right I'm done with drugs all I need is you and we would run away together and one day fund a home for college students who Just Say No (sounds like something that would have taken place on that after school special).  But no, he looks at me...
Kind of shocked that I would say that in front of him and his friends, and his friends were trying not to laugh, them he flips over the package to reveal....
BC Powder.  Humpf.... I just kind of stood there, embarrassed that I was moments ago getting ready to look up a local drug rehab place, and just walked out of the house.  Needless to say, I went home.  A few weeks later, I walked by him and his buddies as he called me Betty.  Whatevs.

2.  When I was in junior high, I was so excited to make the drill team.  I tried out my 8th grade year (didn't make it, I still think it was because during my time to shine at tryouts I clapped for like a minute a said, "go get that ball", like I was talking to a small child.  Anyways, I made it the next year, must a wowed them with my, well I have no idea.  Well, the dance team, the Cub Kickers, was the best for me I loved it because I really wanted to dance and could not stand to take another PE class where the focus of my uncoordination while handling balls would be highlighted.  I will not say that we were the most skilled group, but we were a fun group (hello, we danced to Boyz to Men, its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.... On a basketball court, it was ballet... I digress.  One of our most memorable dances was to.... Wait for it....
Be Our Guest, it was a kick routine.
I'm just gonna go ahead and say, it was Not our best performance.  In the kick line I was 4th from the end, I had a Cub Kickers on each side.  It gets quiet in the gym, and I hear..... be.... Our..... our guest, and the kicks begin.  I think its going well until see the audiences faces (sheer horror and squinting, like they were looking away from a bright light) so I'm kicking the correct kicks and to my left I am kicked in the leg (neighbor kicked wrong), so then I am off, then my other side (she will remain nameless, starts laughing almost falling over, and says that her tampon was falling out.... Yeah, ya heard me, then I look to the left and another kickers skirt fell down on the gym floor.  The song ended, and what would normally be done is cheers from our friends and parents but it was like a clap here and a distant clap there and then bouncing basketballs from the players coming back on the court to warm up.  It was for sure a dance to remember, and to this day I don't like that song in Beauty in the Beast.

3.  A random thing about junior high drill team, I can still remember some of the dance routines.  One of them I sometimes break out into is by The 69 Boys??  Daisy Dukes.  I still got it.  Ha!

4.  Even though I'm 33, I still practice an 8 count of kicks, with head pops.  Strange, I know.  I'm seeking appropriate help, and know that I only do these things when no one is looking, 1. Because it would be embarrassing and 2.  Because all the kicking/ jumping makes me pee.  Don't worry, I'm seeking appropriate help for that too.

5.  When I was in junior high, my Great grandmother, Mimi, my grandmother, Moss, and her sister, my Aunt Sarah came to B-town for a visit.  My Mimi and Aunt Sarah slept in my room, and upon their departure, they left behind cigarette, hidden in my desk drawer.  Looking back, I don't know why they were hiding their nicotine products, they were old enough to make such decisions, but there was one CIG in my drawer.  I kept it in there for the longest time, so long that if my parents ever found it, I couldn't say it wasn't mine and then try to push the blame on my great-grandmother, I didn't even believe anyone knew they smoked (that's obvi why they hid their stash in my junior high desk).  So one day, I stuffed it in my trash can, piled stuff on top of it and it was smooth sailing.... Until trash day.  That night my dog, Skipper, he ate everything, furniture, shoes, toys, dog food, people food, and cigarettes.  he was quite the garbage disposal Pomeranian.  Well, ole Skipper never knew what hit em, he was "sick as a dog", no pun intended.  Vomiting and diarrhea for days.  I could have blamed it on him eating a GI Joe, or a piece of candy, but my parents found the butt of the CIG in their room.  Needless to say, I don't think they believed it was really Mimi's, and they were probably so ashamed that I would nark out an 80 year old anyways.  Sorry Mimi, it was yours!

6.  Since I was talking about ole Chipper, the devourer of anything not moving, I was at home one day after school, when the door bell rings, and it was my dreamy crush, I won't call him by his real name, Ike Marcher, and his sidekick who will also be given a pseudonym Jimmy We, were just stopping bye to say hi.  Anyways, since I was not supposed to let boys in the house while my parents were not home, I decided to let them into the entry way, inside the house, where they should not have been, after a few minutes of talking about what was happening later that day or Jodeci's latest album, I noticed that We and March were looking everywhere but at me and they looked a little flushed.  I looked behind me only to see ole Chipee gumming a huge ole used sanitary pad.  I don't know why y'all but he ate everything.  I tried to ignore it by standing on top of it, but Chipee found this to be but a game of take away, which caused some of the stuffing (I know it sounds like I was using a Stayfree mattress during my cycle), and then I just said to the guys, I had a bloody nose last night, its a napkin.  Geez.  Picked it up and went to throw it away.  When I got back to the door they were outside of the house.   That worked out.  Well played Mike and Amy (those are my parents) they obviously trained that dog to do the most embarrassing things possible at the most inopportune times.

7.  If I find any one of these shows on, at anytime, I am useless until they are over.

8.  I have 2 brushes with fame, Patricia Brant, she was Ms. USA/ Ms Louisiana.  In fact, I was like 7 or 8 when she was in the pageant, and I saw her and called it right then, she would win, she did.  My mother told her that story, and I was so shy that I gave her a half smile like I was kinda too busy to talk or pose in a picture... I was 7 or 8, I was a mess!  My other brush is Danny Glover was on a flight from XNA to Dallas with me (and a whole lotta other people).  I insisted on waiting until he got off of the plane, he was sitting in the back alone and I was on row 3 seat B, hello, totally should a been off the plane, and person in seat A let me know that whats I was doing was borderline stalking.  She was jealous, and wanted to be the girl to say, " good morning Mr. Glova", o yes, when I'm nervous I will sometimes bring out my Designing Women dialect.

9.  I sometimes feel that Aron rethinks marrying me because of this dirty little habit.....
Honestly, I took this pic off the internet, my tube on the counter looks way more unsanitary, even dried up and flaky in some areas.  Judge me... Whatevs 

10.  We paid off our car yesterday and I kid you not, we made a joke that the next day all things would fall apart.  Well, the car died... Bad battery, after 5 years, never 1 problemo, and bam.  We jinxed ourselves.

11.  I have about 4 pairs of shoes sitting in the garage that were worn and I stepped or the kids stepped in poop.  All I have to do is clean them, but no, I insist on them sitting there, some for months (7).  I deal with poop all day, I don't like to clean it off of shoes, especially when I'm not even certain of the animal from which it came.

12.  Aron has been crazy gung ho about his turkey hunting lately.  In fact, I've gotta back end a turkey feathers in the garage.  But I'm terrified that he's gonna bring a gobbler home then take it to the taxidermy man and then bring it home to be set atop o my hutch or something.  It is starting to look a little bit like Bass Pro Shop meets country antique chic, trust me the look ain't good.  I've gotta deer head in the living room, and horns and other heads in the garage.  I guess if it makes Aron smile, that's all that matters.... Right?

13.  I've been thinking more about babies lately.... But how could you not when one of your bestest friends has this on her hip...
Adore him Rana!

14.  I have had the dream about 3 times in the past month that I kept forgetting to go to a class (like the whole semester) and i am unable to graduate.  Then, I look for my locker, and I can never remember the lock combo, so I go ask the office, and they tell me the same code... 24r 14l 43r 18 7 3... I know too many numbers for a lock, but its strange that I've had this dream so many times (over the years) and the numbers are the same. Creepers, I know

15.  Over the past few months I have just been rolling in prayers. Praying for my Buck, my family, me and Aron, the kids, pray to be a good mother, pray to be a good friend, prayers for so many friends, 1 that has just constantly been battling loss, 1 that I had been praying for to just have some peace and calmness in his life (he passed away a few days before my Buck), prayers for friends who are struggling, our country, the world we are living in, its such a scary scary place.  Every time I turn on the TV I am just overwhelmed by sadness.  My prayers almost seem to go on all day, a prayer here, a prayer request there, it calms me to know that I can always talk to God.  He's listening , he hears my call, no matter how small.. 

16.  I have stopped taking sleeping pills, so I'm up at strange hours throughout the night.  OK insomnia is for the birds!!

17.  I've been reading a lot more lately, now that I've been a hunters widow the past few weeks.  4 books in only 2 weekends, and no they were not Dr Seuss!  Have you been reading anything great lately that you would like to share???  I will soon be left alone for the weekend and want to read something good.

18.  This past week in our town, it was prom.  One morning, I decided I would get out my old prom dresses and give them a whirl.  Well,  the booty of one dress looked like 2 pigs fighting umnder a blanket, the tightest, stretched out, sparkliest blanket you ever did see.  The other dress, well I couldn't even pull it over my thighs. The only conclusion I have come to is that I for sure had an eating disorder in high school, I'm so glad that I have taken such leaps and bounds to correct that disorder and have some meaty bones.  Will really start running soon, even though there will be pee involved.  Lots and lots.

19.  Each day I am more and more conscious of the wonderful man I married. 

 I just love him so very much and He makes me very happy... This is a family blog now, I'm keeping it PG y'all:-) 

Tiny dancer alert, ballet recital is a coming right up!!

Bonus 21...


Lindsay said...

Love this post! Also love being your friend. And I need to know real names. Figured out one!

Cory said...

I have not been keeping up with blogs like I use to. And I ditched my own a long while ago... I still have dreams of getting back to it. BUT... I always love reading yours. You show your heart, and you crack me up. Who wouldn't love a friend like you in their lives...