Friday, January 24, 2014

"Big Perm Does China"

Well, I was informed today to get my bags ready, cause I'm going to China.  I-Know!  China...  Yes, China, and I aint talking China, North Dakota (FYI, for those that are not aware there is no China, North Dakota), I'm talking China.  Like if you look at a map, it is on the other side of the world..... No seriously, look at the map...
If you could see me you would notice my sad face, and if you were on the inside of my body you would hear my heart breaking!  Friends, I am not ready for this.  Yes, send me to Tulsa, put me on an a plane to the New York (I have two of my best gal pals there), but China.  Hello, they are not even in the same time zone, in fact they are so far away when you fly over on an airplane leaving on a Tuesday morning you would finally get there on a Wednesday, you lose a day when you go!  Wha? I know, its a bit tricky.
This would be my second visit to China, I traveled there five years ago when I worked for Wal-Mart.  The trip was so crazy busy and flew by quickly, so I'm thinking this trip will be the same way.  I wish I would have blogged back then because that trip was..... "A learning experience" fo sho!  
Let me set up the scene for you... Just picture it... "Big Perm In China", my first morning leaving our building, I'm feeling a major flow of excitement.... Here I am "B-town Caryn" in a real China- town.  The streets are filled with people, me just looking and smiling, "excuse me this" "excuse me that" , "hello to you", and "how do you do?" To every person I see (sounds ridic, but hey, I'm a friendly girl, I like to talk with people, I used to not be all "danger stranger") anyways, I am approaching the curb to step into a bus that drove us from the hotel to our office, and there was this man on a tiny bike (think circus size tiny bike) and the tiny bike was loaded with bottles and papers, he stood up from his tiny circus like bike (I'm concerned his heavy bundle will fall over) and we lock eyes..... It was the strangest eye lock I've ever seen or been a part of.... 
(Think Mowgli looking at Kaa snake)
and the man just starts yelling, "woh....woh....woh...wah" he was not saying anything just making this loud crazy sound.  He just kept on doing it, and I had no idea what his problem was.  I mean who just stares at someone and wohwahs them?  I mean really, who does that?  Well, I was just so confused and a little embarrassed since he kept getting louder, that I woh, woh, wahed him.  That's right, I just dished up Mr. Tiny Circus Bike Guy with Heavy Load a cup of his own medicine..... And not only did I look like a nut job on that crazy busy China street but I also realized that "my kinda crazy" would fit in quite nicely in China.
My next few days would be a blur of work, hunger pains, and sleepless nights.  The food was just a bit different than what I was used to munching on.  I loved breakfast, would fill up on fruits and rice (don't knock it till ya tried rice for breakfast), but then the other meals were not so hot.  Don't worry, I brought a Sams size pack of cheese and crackers and peanut butter crackers (please note, on that trip I lost no weight what so ever).  There was one meal that I remember so vividly, not because it was so yummy, but because it came out as a fish.... I ain't talking fish sticks, more like a fish on a stick (with his eyeballs).  Y'all, I can eat a lot of different stuff, heck, I've eaten left over scraps from the kids happy meals that they dropped on the car floor, but if your food has eyes.... and the eyes are looking at you, while you are looking at them..... Then I just gotta draw the line.  That's right, I just pulled out my cheese and crackers with conviently packed cheese smearer stick and had my own 5 star meal at this 5 star restaurant.
My next encounter begins in a busy subway.  Now, this was my first time on a subway, this subway was very crowded. In fact, at one point I felt like it was a game to see which car could be packed tighter.  In such close conditions, I feel it is most appropriate and best to look up.  I like to see my surroundings, not peoples feet or their bubbies (eye contact people, eye contact).  Well, a little lesson folks.  When  small town country girl is, "how do ya do'in' to the locals, and exusin' me's (it's a strange thing when I randomly channel Scarlett O'Hara), but as I'm smiling, being kind, maneuvering my way through the subway scene, my boss comes up behind me and asks that I please not speak to people, touch, even look at people.  Well, I've never.  That would just be rude.  Well, he says (in the kindest sweetest way possible, seriously he was the most precious man ever), "you are sending people the wrong idea, they think you a prostitute".  
Me: a prosta- what?
Still silence.
That's right folks, this could be a for sure way to get a creeper to follow you.  I DIE!
I could go on and on with all of the funny from that trip, but I'm sure if you are still reading you are sleepy, so I bore you no longer.
Any who, I am slowly preparing myself for my big trip.  I know my sweet guy will have everything under control here, but I will just miss him and the littles terribly.  I know I can Skype them, but I won't be able to love on them and touch their sweet cheeks for almost two weeks!  That seems like a lifetime in wife and mom years!!
I have over a month to mentally and physically get ready (and figure out a way to pack the kids and Aron in my carry bag)! Ha!

No comments: