Thursday, March 15, 2012

Go Home Little Johnny!

Yesterday, I kicked off my new exercise plan.
It is called... Caryn, quit being lazy, put down that cookie, and get off the couch cause you are gonna walk a mile today routine.
First, I will start by saying that before I started walking I was feeling really good about myself. Really, 4 times around the block should be no big deal.. (ha)!
So, I put on a pair of stretchy pants (which happen to be black with a yellow stripe down the side), kept on the blue t-shirt I had been wearing all day, and then put on my gray tennis shoes (maybe you could get a visual of my o-so attractive walking outfit (I was the poster child for a hot mess a walking). Well, onto my mile.
The wind was blowing and it was about 75 degrees when I started my walk. It was rather nice, now that I think about it.... just me and the lonesome road. Step 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, yes, I am a step counter (this could be a form of OCD?? not sure), but I was counting.
I made it half way around the block, and it started, my mouth breathing. Yes, I am a mouth breather, especially when I am walking or jogging, reading, cooking, okay I am just a mouth breather all of the time. So, walking, mouth breathing (at least I am not sweating yet), but I am slowly approaching what appears to be a 9 maybe 10 year old boy sitting on his bike. Geez, now I have an audience.
Now this boy, I have seen him around the neighborhood. When walking the dog, he always asks if he can pet our dog, or when I am outside with the kids, he will ask if Sophia is a boy (she would always be wearing a blue stripped hat when we would play outside over the past few months, with her hair tucked under the hat, thus the question). So yes, I have seen this kid around, don't know his name, but I have seen him around. So, I pass this boy on the bike (don't even say hi to him, just keep on walking). I pass him and I am about a house a way from him then I can hear him creeping up behind me. So odd. I would turn my head, and when I would turn, he would start riding his bike in circles in the street. I am just thinking, OMG, is this the neighborhood bully? Is he going to push me over and try to steal my kicks? I don't know, it was just weird. This progresses for two more houses. Him creeping, me turning, him circling in the street, it was so awkward. Finally, neighborhood bully boy is about 10 feet from me, he brakes, stands up (to get more speed and really push those pedals) and he takes off past me. He says nothing and I am just pleased that Creepy McCreeperson is going on his merry way.
So, I then make it past our house... WOO HOO, 1 lap down and 3 more to go. I am about half way around lap 2 and I could hear the lil guy (coming from behind) approaching me on the sidewalk. All I can think is, "here we go again", but he rides on past me and then yells in a celebratory tone, "ha, ha I beat you!" I am shocked. This 10 year old boy, on a bike, has just had an imaginary race (and won) with a 30 something year old mouth breathing walker woman in not matching clothes?
I am just thinking who is this kid and does he have any friends?
Has he not ever heard of the phrase, DANGER STRANGER!?
All I can muster is, "ha, your a winner." Yes. I call him a winner, but now I have engaged with this kid and he obviously thinks maybe that we are buddies? I don't know.
Well, that was the extent of the conversation, but he is now riding a few feet in front of me. Yal, it was just the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I am almost thinking that I am on some hidden video show. He does not speed off again (which I so wish that he would have).
I am almost finished with lap 2, and I am getting ready to pass another neighborhood house. The only thing that is different about this house is the mother that is standing in the yard waiting/ looking for her child.
So, she yells to her son, "what are you doing?"
He just looks over at me and says, "I'm playing with her."
I look at him, like what is even happening right now.
She looks at me with these eyes, these weird eyes, like I could be some sorta pre-vert or something.
Then the mother said, "Johhny (or whatever his name was), you need to get in this house right now!"
Yal, it was the weirdest thing ever! I was so embarrassed.
I guess that I am just going to have to move my workout routine to a later hour.
Surely, little Johnny has like a 8 o'clock bedtime. Right?


Lindsay said...

Stranger Danger indeed! That's too funny. Good for you for exercising! Mouth breathing is cool!

Cory said...

Bwahahahaha!!! I am sitting in my sons preschool parking lot reading this in my car. Laughing hysterically. People are looking at me like I have lost my mind. That is the funniest story! Poor kid. Maybe he doesn't get enough positive adult interaction. But it's still funny. Keep up the good work.

Caryn C. Foresee said...

Cory- it was sooo odd!! I may have to just start walking a different neighborhood!

MeTheMama said...

You're hilarious!! Maybe play hide and seek with him next time and he can hide first.

Angie said...

Ha Ha- I seriously laughed the whole time I read this! Poor kid, he definitely sounds like he is lacking attention. I can see how it would be creepy though and I'm sure it was so uncomfortable when his momma came out. Bless you heart, maybe you should just invest in a treadmill.

Lauren Chick said...

Hi Caryn! I am a new follower. I laughed the entire time I read this post! I enjoy reading your blog!