Friday, May 18, 2012

You Can Do It If Ya Put Your Mind To It!!

Buckle Down!  Buckle Down!!  Do It!  Do It!! Do It!!!
Yesterday was the day.  Insanity came in the mail.  I was actually pretty excited about my small package, I see it as a little gift that contains a "promise of a hot body in 60 days"!  Who would not be pumped up about getting that in the mail.  Last night, I voraciously read through the insane material, and was ready to start my workouts TODAY!  Hubs on the other hand was all... "lets start it on Monday."  Me... that was not my plan.  When I want something or wanna do something, I go for it right then (I think this is the "Little Red Hen" mentality in me, I will do it all by myself).
After a morning of playing outside with Red and Bear, they were plain tuckered out by 1:45 today.  This was very rare and exciting.  In fact, I even crawled into my bed and grabbed my phone and began checking my email and then FB stalking some people (yes, this is total entertainment to me).  During all of the FB stalking, I fell asleep, for all of about 25 minutes, but rest is rest and I will take it.  After my cat nap in the middle of the day, I was hanging out and a little bit bored.  I could not prance around the house... for fear that I would wake up the kids, so I was left prisoner in my room.  Yep, just me and my room, and my Insanity paraphernalia.  So, I check the clock (hubs will not be home until 4:10, so I have plenty of time to try workout number 1, take a shower, and pull myself together and act as if I have had the most laid back day ever! 
I put on my tinny pumps (for those of you who are not sure what those are that is what I would call tennis shoes), I then start looking for an appropriate bra to do such a workout in (FYI, I do not have a sports bra (not active, so why have one), and I look in my bra drawer (yes I have one, and oops it only has 3 that fit and then the rest are nursing bras... pathetic I know).  The three bras I do own are somehow missing from the drawer, I go to look in the laundry room and there they are laying underneath my scruffy looking stanky smelling dog.  I pulled one out from under him (yes, I was gonna wear it (don't judge) but the smell was so horrific that I just tossed it back into the laundry). 
NOTE TO SELF:  do laundry soon, I have no clean bras.
Anyways, back to business.  O yes, the Insanity workout.  So I am decked out in my tinnys, my old drill team shorts (yes, I still got um and wear um), and a tank top.  Only thing missing is support for my bubbies, but I start thinking that this is the first video, surely this Insanity guy is not gonna throw out some crazy whacked out jumpy exercises on the first video... would he?  People would not tune into video number 2 (yes, this is my thought process).
So, I pop in the video.  (I know y'all are wishing that you coulda been a fly on the wall)
Remember... my kids are asleep and I am trying to be quiet!!
The first video was about 41 minutes long. 
During those 41 minutes there are a few things that happened:
1.  I almost died.  Yes, there was a bright light and singing (but now that I think about it, the singing was music from Baby Bear's monitor (it was his mobile).
This is me, thinking..... "why oh why, did I turn it on the Insanity info-mercial on Sunday morning?  Why oh why, could I have not been watching a info-mercial on knitting.  Yes, knitting is starting to sound way more fun that Insanity.
2.  My bubbies.  Let me start by saying ladies, ALWAYS wear support while doing Insanity.  I did not use an over the shoulder boulder holder and my bubbies nearly black n' blued my eyes and now are hanging a lil' bit lower than before starting the video.  I feel like something that could be photographed for a National Geographic magazine.
3.  Have a glass of water nearby during this workout.  There were a few times where "the yeller" (instructor) allows a 8-15 second break.  He encourages water drinking.  I had my trusty Cola nearby (shoulda had a water).  Also, when I was experiencing moment #1, I would have really loved to have that tall drinka water close by to dump on my head (I could not justify dumpin' my Coke).
4.  If you suffer from bladder incontinence, you will have some issues with Insanity.  During the first 4 minutes I had peed my pants (during the jumping jacks).  Sounds messed up, but I thought that maybe it was not so much and that I could just keep on going (it was on 37 minutes left of the workout).... Ummm so not gonna happen!  The pee went down my legs and my shorts were soaked!  Dying, but I know others have this same prob (and we all know I am all about statin' the facts)!  ha!!  Had to change pants 2 other times).  Glad I was not doing this with others (can we say AWKWARD)!  What will I do when CoCo Nic and the Aim-ster come over??
4.  Let me start by saying that I am a girl from the South and I am not a sweater.  I do not work out, run, and extreme heat situations, well, it is just not something that I like .  So, I like to keep cool and be inside. In fact, if there is a moment that I am sweating, I like to reference it as glistenin'.  Yes, I was glistenin' (that sounds way more lady like, sounds like something Emily Post would do).  Now that that has been addressed:  men sweat like pigs and ladies glisten.  During today's workout I was GLISTENIN' LIKE A PIG!!  It was OOC (out of control).
5.  Dry heaving.... that is all that I will say about that.
I must say that the best thing about the workout was that it did not last forever.
In fact, I stopped with 6.5 minutes left to go (just could not finish). 

You can still see the workout on the tiny tv behind me!  In the picture, I think that I look a little bit scared (like dear in the headlights kinda a scared)
Hopefully, the next go at this will go better than today.  It can only go up from here!


SILLy stories!! said...

Sorry- I am giggling!!! Your torture is funny to me!!! I would love to know your opinion on the workout vidoes though, I was thinking of purchasing them myself.

MeTheMama said...

I pee when i do jumping jacks too. I do Biggest Loser on XBox Kinect. it's amazing!!

JNix said...

i am bringing you depends. end of story.