Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My Mommy Confessions

I have a friend, that within the next month, will be a new mother. O, so many things to come for her during this time. The joys. The sweet smiles from your precious bundle. The coos. The poos.. Well, this girl friend, (we will call her Nellie), just posted the funniest article that I have seen in a while. It is on the site, The Stir, and it is from "Scary Mommy"! It is the 25 Best Mom Confessions of 2011! Go to it, will not regret it!

then type in mommy confessions (in the search box), sorry the link would not work!

After reading, laughing, and agreeing with a few of the confessions, I thought that I would write my own confessions! It is comforting to know that at least one other person out in the world shares in some of my "mommy stresses"!

1. Sometimes, with 2 children, 2 and under, it is hard to find the time and the energy to make 3 healthy home cooked meals and snacks too! A few times, I have fed my children Chick fila breakfast (chicken biscuits with fruit cup), then gone to McDonalds for lunch (this because I fear the window person at Chick Fila would be the same person and I do not want to be judged for feeding myself and children breakfast and lunch), stuff the fast food paraphernalia in the trash (so husband will not see it), then tell Aron that I have had such a crazy hectic day that I say we should eat Subway (it's healthy) for dinner. (I know, I am the worst)

2. I hate cleaning the bathroom (this does not get done that often). In fact, if someone says that they are coming over, I sometimes just squeeze the Mr Clean gel in the toilet, wait a few minutes, then flush. Smells clean to me

3. I am not a fan of answering the door when my husband is not home (even if it is a child doing a raffle sale or asking me to buy cookies). So, I look out the window and mouth and act out "BABY SLEEPING" then I make the "SHUSH" sound.

4. On the 15th of this month, I had a birthday party for my husband and my son. Just this morning I threw away the left over cake that has been sitting on a covered crystal cake plate. I actually forgot it was even sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen and only really did it because my sister in law came over a few days ago and made a comment (made me feel so gross).

5. I made chili 2 months ago, and it is still in the fridge. I always say, I am gonna throw that away next Monday when the garbage man comes, but I obviously forget. (it is so in the back, I never notice)

6. I have 9 shampoo conditioner and shampoo bottles in the shower. 6 of them are empty.

7. I still have lingerie that I received for my bachelorhood party (over 5 years ago). It is like 8 sizes too small and some of it never worn. (I will not throw it away, hoping that I will someday loose weight and be able to wear it, and I also cannot throw it away because I hate to be a waster of such pretty stuff). Ridiculous, I know.

8. I have not washed my hair since Friday. (notice I did not say Friday of which week. I cannot remember!) Just kidding. Last Friday. Or am I???

9. During nap times, I should be cleaning or doing some other wifely/ mommy duty, but I am more than likely watching old 90210 episodes or Twittering.

10. My carpets smell so yucky (I blame this on children, they spit up all over it for about 9/12 months while they crawl around then they spill their drinks and such on them for the rest of the time. Thus, I am a big sprayer of Febreeze! I smile big time when other Mommy's come over and say that my house smells so fresh and clean (I fear telling them it is all covered up with the Febreeze spray)!

11. I sometimes do not brush my teeth until Aron is due home. Never enough time in the day to do everything!

12. Being a stay at home mom is a tough job and sometimes very lonely. Thus the first name basis I am on with the trash man, the mail lady, and the laundry mat woman (she washed our comforter one time a month). I know their children's names as well, they are very friendly and have even shown me photos of those kiddos. I love proud parents.

13. In the early days of mommy hood, when I would nurse babies in the bed with me and then we would fall asleep together, they would spit up or I would leak everywhere. I would change them and clean them up, and me being too tired to change the sheets would just sleep on the edge of the bed or just lay a towel over it.

14. If the husband is in the mood, and I too tired to function or even make out for that matter, I have said that I had diarrhea all day or even make the comment that I am getting ready to start my period and feel so bad. (This only works for about 2 days in a row, so you must come up with something better for an excuse on day 3.)

15. I cannot tell you the last time that I saw my girlfriends. When the time comes up for us to get together, I usually say I cannot come (just because I do not want to get dressed up, my sweats do not say....Girls Night Out)

16. I am on a first name basis with 1/2 of the nursing staff at our pediatrician (I am a crazy mother who thinks that my children always have the symptom of...... something crazy.) It is my own fault for checking with WEBMD first (should never ever do that)

17. If I get a coke in a bottle, I can make it last over a few days. I leave it out and drink it even if it is flat. I hate to waste a good coke.

18. If my teeth look a little crooked, I pop in my retainer that I had in high school. It still works. The next morning my teeth are straight! I do this after Aron goes to sleep (I would never let him see me like that)!

19. I have used the same make up sponge for like 5 months. It is so old and grodey looking, but I just forget to get a new one at the store!

20. I do not always recycle. Just saying. (I am trying to get better since I have such green friends, they make me feel bad)

21. After 2 children, I cannot run, skip, jump, dance, laugh, or sneeze without peeing in my pants. (So embarrassing when this happens at Wal-Mart) I could be the youngest spokeswoman for Depends. Don't use them, but I should!

22. If I ever think that I am pregnant, I will go to a nearby town to buy a pregnancy test. Seriously, I thought I was recently, and would have died if someone saw me with 2 little babies in the buggy (would have hated them to look at me and wonder if I have ever heard of birth control or think that I am an oversexed desperate housewife)! Test came out negative yal!!

23. I mostly listen to Christian music. The rest of the time I listen to Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, Hall and Oates, Def Leopard, Aerosmith, Bone Thugs n Harmony, and the list goes on and on! I know, right, eclectic music selection, I think so.

24. For some reason, every time I go to the store (for just one thing), I will also pick up the following items (chicken broth, baby wipes, apple juice, and a candy bar (I eat it in the car so no one will know)!

25. If I sometimes just burst out into old drill team routines (full out). I still got it, and my kids think that it is funny!

So, what you got? Please tell me that you have something too!

Please do not judge a momma, I am just trying to make it to another day. So happy in this season I am in, and I just thought that I could share some of the teensy weency little things that make up this thing I call Mommyhood!

Love yal,

The Mommy That is Just Trying to Keep it All Together


Angie said...

I don't know about other Momma's but I can so relate.
The Web MD & Peeing your pants had to be two of my fave. I'm notorious for both :)

Anonymous said...

Oh the towel on the bed trick! I thought I owned that one!;)

Lindsay said...

Dude, we should write a book of Mommy confessions because it would be a huge seller and everyone who has kids can relate. I just nodded my head in agreement with all of your confessions. Right there with you, except since I never made drill team I bust out the moves from when I tried out for drill team and didn't make it. That's a good story to share. Next playdate we'll exchange more confessions. Lots of fun. One confession for the moment, I'm reading blogs and making comments here while my son "sleeps" in his crib (is that him I hear giggling, talking, whatever??) and my daughter sprints by pulling her pants down as she heads to the pot to poop. Need a girls night out with sweatpants as the required attire!!!

Katie said...

I wish I could pass judgement by saying I would never do those things, but sadly, being the stay at home Mom of a soon to be two year old AND a soon to be one year old...they aren't even twelve months apart, I can't do so because I am so guilty of some of them. It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon here in Ohio and I am still in pajamas, haven't brushed my teeth, and haven't showered in days. Why is it so hard to accomplish these tasks? We actually have nice weather today and I can't bring myself to get out of the recliner and off the computer to take my girls outside to enjoy it. Where are our Super Mom powers?

Betty said...

This is so true just not everyone will admit they have done some if not most of these things. It is good to know there are others in this world :)

Jenny Tripp said...

This was so funny I about peed my own pants. I can honestly say I am guilty of #'s 5,6,7,8,11,13 and 24! Oh, the ole candy bar trick! And one you didn't mention... I stick the hair that falls out in the shower to the shower wall. I let it stick there for so long that I can make hair shower masterpieces. Not sure why I can't seem to manage to throw it away with a kleenex or something. YIKES! Now that I'm back to work, I guess that makes these confessions of a working mother! Thanks for sharing!