New favorites....

Let's be for reals here.  My free time is spent talking with my people, cleaning up after them, doing laundry, or sleeping!  I do not have a lot of time to myself... except for the glorious hour I have after I take the kids to school and before I go to work.  During that time (I am just gonna be honest) most days, I. Do.. Nothing!  Here is another thing... I do not feel bad about it at all!!  I will sit on the couch, look at the FB, and watch an episode of Growing Pains.  It is my time and this is how it is spent.  Sometimes I will talk to my momma for about 1/2 of the time, but I am doing all of the other things while talking (I am a multi-tasker)!

Since my free time is spent in between 711-811 and going out and shopping just ain't happening, I have been finding some of the cutest sites online!  Just thought that I would share a few with you...

First things first...

In a few weeks, my cousin is getting married!  I am so ready to go and celebrate her... but I gots nothing!  Seriously, what to wear.  Last night I found this site Blue Chic Boutique, and I am obsessed!  I even found a few cute things, not for the wedding, but just for everyday!  It might be one of my new fav online shops!

 Before y'all start, yes, everything is blue!  Well, it is time you know... my favorite is blue!  Adore it!  Now, before you see the next outfit, it is a romper, and I know I have laughed at rompers and have said the only people that should wear rompers are young girls (like infants to 8 year olds)!  Here I am to say... I might like a romper!!  Maybe I could even wear one of these outfits to my 20 year reunion... more of that to come!!

New favorite things....#2

I have been a bit obsessed with the Bravo show, Southern Charm!

Now before you say, "Caryn, that is trash t.v.!"  Well, I know!  I love it though, and I just cannot not watch it, it makes me laugh and cringe all in the same episode!  Too funny!

One of my favorite persons on the cast is Cameran Eubanks...

I even follow her on Instagram!  Yes, I follow a person on Insta that does not know me!  It is sad... pray for me!  Anyways, Cameran (I just type that like she is a girl I work with) is too funny, is always having a fun time on the show, and is very stylish!  I love seeing what she is wearing and then I go to my closet and realize that.... well, I have too many cardigans, and I do not think cardis are Cameran's thing!  Ha #ImOld

Anyways, the jewelry she has been wearing on the show has just had me going ga-ga!  I looked it up tonight.. because I am a stalker, and found that the designer has a website, and I can order some very cute pieces, Lisi Lerch!  Yes, I would like 1 of it all!!

Such cute stuff!

Today, I received a few happies at work, and one has become a new obsession...

remember the store Bath and Body Works?  Y'all, I am just gonna let ya know, all through high school I overused the scents Sweet Pea and Plumeria!  I had the lotions and the shower gels!  Anyways, in my bag of happies was a small antibacterial bottle...

Stress Relief Eucalyptus Spearmint... and it smells so ah-mazing!  I need this in soaps, lotions, a bigger antibacterial gel bottle, and probably in a candle!  Seriously, ever other minute I just stop typing to smell my hands (I smell de-lish)!  Go getcha some!  #YoureWelcome  If you end up not loving it, then enjoy looking all through the store, I always loved how organized that place was!

My Moss called me the other night, which reminds me... I need to call her back.  Anyways, in the way back, we were talking all things movies and cute actors, who we would date, ect.  I started talking about Robert Redford....

ummmmmm, can we take a second and just think about Robert Redford....

such a dream boat (lame word, but he's a dream boat)

Anyways, in our discussion, the movie The Way We Were came up and I expressed how I had never seen it!

Moss was shocked!  She then stated that we must watch it next time it comes on!  Well, the other night it came on t.v. at 11 pm, and my Moss (who does not go to bed early, she is like a night owl, always on the FB) called to tell me it was on and that she is recording it for us to watch!

I love her, and I cannot wait to watch it with her!

Last... not that it is my favorite, just a reminder on Friday my marathon is happening!  The kids are excited, I am kinda hoping for the monsoon weather to keep up (does that make me a terrible person)?  I am as ready as I am ever gonna be, and if I pee my pants... so be it, I did it all for the good of the children, and if I die... well, I did not think that would be how it would happen.

If the later happens, then remind my 3 how I loved them fiercely and make sure that man friend does not marry anyone sweeter than me!

Night night my friends (smooch smooch)!

Sign... Sign... Everywhere a Sign

I know... I know!  Caryn, where have you been?

Welp, I've been knee deep in mom stuff:  soccer has started for the littles, t-ball for the little guy, still dance classin' it, there is reading with the littles, bath time, trip plannin', cleaning (yea right), 20 year reunion stuff, and after everyone finally goes to bed I sit down with the best of intentions to blog our lives... but I go to sleep!  #ImTheWorst #ButImRested #HashTagsAreDumb

Anyways, excuses are out there, but tonight I am back, and I might even blog tomorrow.  (I probably just jinxed myself).

Just keeping it reals here (cause that is kinda my thing), but I have been struggling!  BIG TIME.  Before I put this out there into the universe, know that I love this whole mom gig... it makes me happy, my children are my life, they are the reason I get up (literally the reason... 2, 3 am they are standing at the side of the bed telling me they just went to the bathroom and they want to get in between me and the man friend), I would walk through fire for these people, I am truly obsessed!  With all of the passionate mom/ love stuff, these people make me crazy, like nut job, whack-a-doo cray!  The past week has just thrown me for a loop.

I mean what is going on with them?

1.  Possibly due to the time change?  Probably not since that happened forever ago?

2.  Possibly due to it is almost summer and they are just over the whole schedule thing?  Hope it is not that, because during the summer this chick will be working and still have them on a schedule.

3.  Possibly they just think that they are the boss and I have no control?  Yes, this is most certainly the case as of late!

Ugh.. the arguing (not so much with each other but with me)... problem is I engage, as if I will change their mind if I am arguing!  So ridic!  I am arguing with a 7 year old and a 6 year old!  They will not let me win.

I tell them to do something and it is like a joke!

Me... go to your room

child.... nooooo, you just don't love me at all and don't want to see me

me...  ??  just stand there puzzled.  Thinking where did they pick that up?

I take away toys... I take away the ipad (I hate that thing)... and nothing!

Tonight, Red hit little man in the eye (she says by accident, he says accident/shmaxident).  I tell her to go to her room, and we stand there arguing about her going to her room.  She is not listening, then I start saying in my loud mom voice how no one listens to me (note to the 10s of readers... I say this all day long).  Minutes go by and the only person that ends up in their room is me!  I'm the momma!

How does that even happen?

Red somehow Jedi mind tricks me and I ended up in my room?

I start stripping off my clothes (keepin' this PG y'all) and put on a t-shirt (which is inside out, and smelled sour... yuck), some sweat pants, socks, and shoes, and I just told Aron I am leaving...

As I am walking out the door, I yelled at him that he better not follow me!

(Once again... nut job!)

As I stand in the garage, thinking it is a little chilly and I should just retreat back into my bedroom, I just set off for a walk!  I needed to regain my composure... I am sure the 10s of you reading have never had to take a step back and reflect on the past few minutes that made you turn into a crazy parent!

So, I walk, not like a slow calming walk, it was like a super fast walk, almost a jog, but not that fast (ya dig)?

Walking, and thinking... and honestly a lil bitta panting (keepin' it reals)

Then after about 15 minutes of me storming the mean streets of B-town, I just started talking (and to the passer-byers, I am sure I looked certifiable), but I just did not care anymore (it was kinda dark and no one could see me that could, maybe they would just think I was talking on my cell phone... while not holding a cell phone?)

So, I'm talking and that talking turned into praying.

Lots of asking questions.

I feel like I am failing this whole parenting thing.

I am not a good momma.

What if my kids are just going to grow up being disrespectful to me (cause they don't do this to anyone else).

Am I ruining my children?

Am I breaking their spirit?

Do they think I am crazy?

Does man friend think I am crazy?

Where am I going all wrong?

My cries turned into prayers...

I just need a sign that you hear me.

I feel alone.

I feel like a failure.

I do not have it all together... like ever!

Am I doing a good job?

Do my people love me?

Am I a good mother?

Here Aron and I were just talking about having another baby, and I just walked away paralyzed thinking about the baby we lost, thinking about how would that work out, could it work out, then doubting my abilities as a parent.  (Y'all, it has been a crazy night)

What is my plan?  What is my purpose?

I thought my thing was to be a momma, is this it?  Is this enough?  I am not doing so good at it!

I need a sign to know that you hear me!!!

Kinda crying, almost home, and no one is outside, and here I am waiting for a sign....

Call it coincidence... I call it a God thing.

1.  I start to hear giggling.  No one is out in their front yard... because it is 8:25, but I hear littles giggling.  I no longer felt alone, and a little comforted by these sweet little voices (they were not my littles, but they were happy)

2.  Okay, so maybe number 1 is not really a big sign, but then I walk into the house, and everyone has calmed down (including myself), and Red runs up with her little writing pad, and has written me an I'm sorry note, telling me that she loves me sooooooooooo much.

As I am sitting by her, so she can read it to me, she leans forward to tell me I am a good momma.

3.  I walk into my closet to take off my shoes and I look up and see a book hanging from a shirt

It is super strange, somehow it is just propped up against my clothes

(try to ignore the bottom of the closet, and in fact ignore the whole closet... I am a slob)

So, anyway, floating book is called... My Pregnancy Journal.

(I got that book in my first trimester with Sophia....and it hasn't been opened since I was pregnant with Sophia, in fact I do not even know where that book has been or why it is floating in my closet)

Okay God... I know that you have got me, and that you hear me... even when I am power walking the neighborhood-

It is just strange.  I am sure some of the 10s, maybe 4s of you are thinking.... girlfriend... those are not signs, go back to your pity party!

A few take aways from the whole evening...

I am not a bad mom.

I have some really awesome mom moments then some not so hot mom moments.

I am learning this whole parenting gig as I go.

Some days are just harder than others, and the past few days are just some of those days.

I love these people.

They love me too (it is hard to tell during their temper tantrums, but I know they love me)

Tomorrow is another day, I can start off with a happy spirit and show them love

Momin' ain't easy

As for the floating book...

Happy spots in the week...

The week has been a bit busy, but it is going good.  I cannot believe tomorrow is already Thursday!  Where does the time go?  During all of the crazy of the week, there have been so many happy spots, so I wanted to share (because that's my thing).

This should not be my top happy, but it is funny!  Please note, the conversation below is not listed with correct punctuation, because my material isn't Pulitzer Prize winnin'... ya dig??  Back to the story, picture it, I am sitting at work yesterday minding my own business when the phone rings and I answer.... ummmm famous person name pops up on my caller id.

Not like Leonardo DiCaprio famous, but small town NWA famous...

caller id reads Dan Skoff

I was like.... ummmm, play it cool (but y'all know my cool is not cool, at all)!

So... hello.

He's all.... someone called me from this number....

Me... well, did they leave a message? (not in a rude way, just in a question kinda way)

him... no (that is right, short and sweet and right to the point... obvi not a big talker)

What is your name sir, and I will see if anyone in our office has reached out to you....

he was like, my name is Dan... Dan Skoff.

(yes, he said it just like that, just like he was James... James Bond!)

I said, in my most southern twangy loud voice ever (I do not even know where this voice came from.... it came from down deep and it was ridic)

SHUT... THE... FRONT....DOOR!  Dan (super twangy) Skoff, the news guy?!  (duh, I already knew it was him, but I was still excited to have my run in with a famous person for the day)!

He laughed and said, well, I do the weather!

me... I!  Know!

me... Well, what are you doing?  (O, my goodness, it is like I thought we are besties and we would just hit it off with our conversation!)

He just laughed and started talking about the weather  (geez, isn't he ever off the clock)!

For real though, it was so funny to randomly speak with him!!

(I would post his picture, but I do not want to reach stalker status!... What if he knows one of the 10s of you readers... I.  WOULD..  DIE!!

Anyways, on with the week, we have been on a busy extra curricular activity schedule.  Dance lessons, both kids in soccer, and then there is t-ball.  With all of the hustle and bustle of the week, the kids have been troopers going to and fro, and both had soccer games... and scored!!

Sophia is playing so well and is enjoying soccer so much! I love that she is liking sports (just goes to show that she is def my child... since I am so sporty)!  Ha, not really.  She gets that from her daddy

This guy!  He is too funny, he runs, he kinda doesn't run, he kinda throws himself on the ground and acts like he trips (I think he is trying to be funny, and I can appreciate that), but my boy scored at his game too!  The funny thing about it is after his score, he stuck both of his arms out and then acted like he was a flying airplane zooming around the soccer field.  Well, he zoomed up to his coach and his coach tried to high five, but my guy totally zoomed by him.  The coach just stood there with his hand out and no one to high five it (I laughed).

Last night, I was part of a string of text messages discussing my 20 year high school reunion... eeek!  This excites me!  The planning kinda kicked into high gear, and I am so looking forward to October!!  I need to break out the old year book and start remembering some of those faces (not really, they are all pretty much on FB).  Last week, I secretly got out all of my old prom dresses!!  So much fun.  I should do a post of me trying to fit back into those old dresses!  I die!  I am gonna do that... stay tuned!!

This week is my baby brothers birthday!!

We are celebrating him with a Easter Egg-stravaganza/ birthday party!!  Oh, I am sure the pictures will be fun!  I am even bringing a little party game... have y'all played Bean Boozled???

You get two jelly beans that look the same, but one is yummy and the other is gaggy!  Look up the you tube videos, I might have to put one together from the party!  It will for sure me a fun time!!

Tonight, a girl friend of mine shared a few pics from the waaaaay back!  Try to find me!

I love these pictures.  I still have these dance outfits and Sophia and her friends play dress up in them!  I am so thankful that my momma held onto sweet things like this, now I can share them with my Red!  Maybe I should do a post about trying to fit back into those babies!!  (ha, never gonna happen)!

The past two nights, Bray has woken up at 1030 and crawled into bed with us... the time is approaching 1030, so I am afraid he will be here shortly.  I guess I should wrap this up.

However, I should document our convo tonight:

I asked why he keeps waking up during the night, and the response was....

momma, I just love you and I sleep best when I am with you.

(awe.... he is a keeper)

Oh, April...

Well, April has started off with a bang.  Here we are the 3rd, and I have spent over 24 of those hours in the bed or hanging over a toilet.  That is right friends, momma has had the stomach bug (whomp... whomp)!  If you remember, this past week my little guy fell victim to the virus, and I kind of thought maybe the rest of us somehow missed it!  Even though I caught his vomit, let him sleep and mouth breathe on me for a few hours one morning, and accidentally used his toothbrush (yes, was not paying attention... at all).  I should consider myself lucky that I was given so much time to recover from what I saw when he was sick... I mean a 5 day incubation period...

I kinda feel like this is the moment when the stomach bug jumped on me... see how happy Bray is to have it leave his body, and how unaware I was that it was happening...

iiiick.

This past weekend started out pretty fantastic...

Sophia's class got to lead their Friday morning Tiger Rally.  Girlfriend had a speaking part, and she was amazing!  Seriously... shining star when she said her two lines...

1.  The giant fell down to the ground

2.  My name is Sophia Foresee and my favorite fairy tale is Little Red Riding Hood

#OscarWorthy #ShesABigDeal #WeAreProud

 She is so very shy, all morning, she kept saying... "this is so terrifying!"  It was super dramatic

This was the cheering section...

That night, the kids school had their Spring Fling, so we stayed for the big event.  I worked there that night, so we got home close to 9.  Such a long day, but we would be going camping on Saturday, and we were so pumped for the first campout of the year!!

Saturday, we woke up, took lil man to his first soccer practice of the season

The weekend start was a success.  Now, to just make the 1 hour drive out of town to the campsite!  We arrived close to 1, just in time for man friend to fire up the grill for lunch.  We were camping with our friends, Sean and Trisha (and their 6 week old baby.... I know, they are sooo brave for taking a baby camping), I never left my house until the kids were like 2!  (I obvi missed out on a lot!)

The day was good, I was very tired from the night before, but was just powering through.  We fished, hiked a bit (until I saw a BEWARE OF BEAR sign... then I was like, AWWWWE  NO!  I saw the Revenant!)  There was lunch (a hotdog... and I will never have one of those again), a game of Memory, I even held sweet baby cakes.  #memories

Brayden even caught his very first fish!  Today (two days later), he named him Snapper!

So thankful that my friend Trisha took this picture, because I completely missed this moment.

Ya see, I was in our camper.... sick.... as.... a...... dog!  Die!  All I could think was how am I going to escape this place and get home (did I mention I was an hour away from home)!  As I sat in the bathroom living my own "battle of the north and the south", I can hear all of the commotion outside as everyone is cheering for little mans BIG catch!  I was praying they would cheer louder and not hear me... of course that all stopped.  I cleaned myself up, asked man friend to come in, and told him I had to leave.  He encouraged me to leave at that moment (probably so he too would not DIE of embarrassment), so I could make it home while it was still a bit light outside (did I mention I did not even know how to get home)!  Sheesh!

He put me in the car and off I went.

All I could think to do is call my parents... here I am in Mark Twains forest, needing to vomit, and of course I feel I need to call friend!

Ridic!  I know.

So, I call up my parents crying, as if I really thought that they could help me at that moment.... and I should have known they would.  #ParentsWillDoAnythingForTheirBabies #EvenWhenTheyAre37 #OrAmI38?

As I was speeding home (yes, driving 70 in a 50ish area) they were headed to find me.

My 70 mph driving turned into 45.... hello!  Did #JaksWife (license plate call out) not realize that at any moment I was going to throw up some more hot dog or have diarrhea all over myself?

Geeza-Louisa

I finally made it to Arkansas... that's right people!  I was not even in my own state!  I finally made it to my state, still trailing #JaksWife (who is still not even going the speed limit), and it happened.   I had to stop the car and throw up!  That is right.  I am sure I would have been every cops dream at that very moment!  They would have for sure thought I was a drunk driver arrest fo-sho!

As I leaned against my car, looking at what was once lunch and snack, my parents pulled up!

My momma put me in the car with my dad and she drove my car home and he drove me home.

#WhereWouldIBeWithoutMyParents

#IdStillBeAtThatBank

I was home within 15 minutes, and all I could do was.... well stomach virus things... and cry.

This lasted until the wee hours of this morning (did I mention today is Monday).  So far I have been much better today.  I was able to shower, clean sheets, and do a bit of laundry.  I am still in bed, but finally feeling like I will survive.

So, how has your month started?