Saturday, October 6, 2018

Grand Theft Auto.... Not a Good Look

There are some days, that I just wake up and think, "man... I am just winning at life."  I have a nice manfriend, our children are fun, we have a place to live and there is food on the table.  I have a job, friends, my family is ah-mazing.  I really do not have anything to complain about. Then there are days like today.....
I know... take a good look.
Not really, this morning I looked a little homeless.  This is how I left my house this morning.  (Obvi not out looking for a boyfriend)  So, it is morning at la casa de Foresee.  The kids have had a delicious home made breakfast of Fruit Loops (I poured in myself for Brayden... he thinks I'm the best), and Sophia had eggs and fruit (manfriend made her... I think he's the best)!  Well, we were starving by 930 (our personal chef had the morning off), so it looked like I would be doing the cooking today.  #BOO
I saw a great recipe for an egg tortilla burrito and it did not disappoint, I hope manfriend wants it for tomorrow too!  Anyways, bad thing was, I saw this Pinterest recipe, but all we had in the cabinet was stale Lucky Charms, 1 frozen pancake, sour cream, and some string cheese (none of those things can make the egg tortilla burrito).  #DangIt
So, one of us had to go to the Wal-Mart.
I immediately agreed, because I deserved a break already!  Ha!  I win!
So, I prepared my best look (as you can see above) and went to the store.
OOTD (this means outfit of the day)
- Happy Camper t-shirt that is for the parents of my children's school- color of the tee is dark gray, not the best for my skin tone and large enough to fit Andre The Giant (look him up if you do not know him)
- blue jeans that when I lean forward come unzipped... not because they are too tight.... okay, it is because they are too tight and pretty sure the zipper is busted
- flip flops FYI, not safe for me to wear when it has been raining, but I was trying to beat the manfriend to the car so I could win the time out to the store
- make-up (none)
- hair (sad)
Anyways, I get to the store... and all of the up close parks are taken, so I drive and drive until an up close one opens up.  It was starting to rain, and I was just trying to get in the store quickly as to not get soaked!
I shop and am out of the store in about 15 minutes
I got a big ole gully washer drink when I was checking out, so I had my hands full with keys, gully washer, purse, and shopping cart.
Did I mention that it was raining, and as I was walking out some elderly man offered me a tootsie roll
(pretty sure it was just the candy he was talking about... not something else (insert awkward emoji face))
It is raining again and I just start fast walking to the car.  I am pushing my unlock  button, and start to pull on the back to load up my groceries.  As I am speed walking I my super amazing flip flop lost traction on the parking lot, and I lost footing on ye ole broke leg.  I fell only a bit, thankful that I had the cart I was holding onto, drink... not so lucky.  What-ev.. it is raining, and of course a older gent sees me and asks if I need help.  He was putting in his groceries right next to my car.  I said I was fine.
#DangerStranger #HeSeemedSafeSinceHeDroveATownCar #AndHadAConcordiaSticker #AndLookedLikeSanta
ummmmm…. I'm fine.
So, still pressing unlock, and not hearing the click of my doors actually unlocking.  Then I see that manfriend put a Dallas Cowboy license plate holder on my car, which is super weird because I had to clue he even liked them, but whatever, I digress.
So, it is raining, I am standing, clicking clicking, nothing nothing, and Santa is watching.  I told him I think my car might have died, and that is why my clicker is not working.  So I went to manually unlock my car.  I could not get that to even work!
Why me??!
So, Santa says, "do you need some help," and just comes on over.  He tries the keys, nothing.  Presses the buttons, and still nothing.
Now another person in front of my car is sitting in her car just watching the show that is my life.
I am already digging in my purse that doubles as a snack bag, receipt holder, and panty holder (because sometimes you just need a back up pair).
Then another helper comes up....
New stranger- "Is everything okay?"
Me- "Yes, my clicker is not working and I cannot get in the car."
New stranger- "hummmm, that's my car."
Y'all, it was not even my fa-reeking car!
Santa started laughing and made some weird comment, "someone musta had a really good night last night?"  Then he had some strange hillbilly laugh, and I just thought for certain he would then say I sure did have a pretty mouth.
I was so embarrassed, and just apologized for trying to get into her car, she just wanted me to move because she was getting wet and did not want to have a convo.  I started doing my fast walk again, remembering in that instant where I parked my car (on the other side of the parking lot)!
All I could do was get in the car and call my momma!  I lit-ter-ally died a thousand deaths out there in that lot, and coulda been arrested and booked for grand theft auto, and I woulda dragged Santa down with me!
Whatta morning.
Needless to say, I got home and made an amazing breakfast for my manfriend, and you should make if for your people tomorrow.

Crack 2 eggs in a bowl, add milk, chives, salt and pepper.  Whisk it up.
Poor into a skillet that has melted butter.  Cook eggs all the way through, never stirring them (about 4-5 minutes), and slide off onto your plate.  It will look like a tortilla (but it is an egg that will be used as a tortilla!
- Add salsa in a strip down the middle (I only like salsa with chips, but today... it worked)
-Add black beans on top of the salsa (not a fan... until today)
-Then 2 pieces of cooked bacon (I heart bacon)
- top with avocado (whaaaaaaa?? so good)
- shredded cheese (I.  DIE.. FOR... CHEESE)
Fold over and eat it up like a taco!
It was so delicious and filling!!  I will be repeating this in the morning!

A little extra:  I was so proud of my new recipe and told my mother all about it, which she informed me that is too much work, especially when Sonic has a great burrito option!  So, if you are like my precious momma and the above seems like a lot of work... head to Sonic and go getcha some!
Please note that Sonic has not sponsored this post (insert eye rolling ridic emoji)

Peace out... it is bedtime!