I know, I know. It is Saturday and my post is titled about Monday, but it has taken a few days to be able to process to be able to even write about my "manic Monday". So, if you have a few minutes to catch up, go grab a cola (or a coffee, gag). I'm writing and drinking one, so if you are reading and drinking one, it would almost be like we are together at the local Panera discussing the day.
Anyways, let me set up the day. So picture it, it is a Monday morning and honestly the day is going good. I am not that girl that wakes up in the morning and is like...." Oh, it is Monday. Is it time for the weekend?" I'm pretty much a happy gal, a healthy girl (except for the cookie/ coke habit (coca cola), loving my littles and man, enjoying my days at work, I mean honestly things are looking good. So, Monday's.. bring it. Well, anyways, I wake up close to on time, get the tiny tots off to school, make it in to work
a few minutes late
, okay it may have been close to 8:30, but I blame that all on Sonic they were a little slow that morning. (Please note, that from here some of the peoples names may have been changed to protect their identity... Wha? They may not like to be on some girls blog.) So, I am at work and things are good. I had been going through emails, chatting about the new cool things happening at work, and even talking about how our marketing team of one Jerrard was working on our company blog
and he would be doing a week of Valentines Day posts (hello, I love talking blogs and Valentines). As if the day could not have improved more, one of the guys at the office, Andy, had made cookies (breakfast. check).
This is when it all starts to get a little strange.
As I was typing I looked at my left hand and noticed it looked a little different. Different meaning blue. I. Know! My hand was blue? Wha? So, I calmly asked my guys (Lenny, Jerrard, Andy, and JR) umm, is it normal to have one blue hand? Well, a few chuckles later and a comment about a Smurf (thanks JR), things started to get a bit more serious. We all started looking at my hand, it was as if it was something off of Grey's Anatomy. I was fo sho the epitome of the 3C's (cool, calm, and collected), even though my insides were the 3 F's (fa-reeked out, frazzled, funny feeling). Then two of the cutest girls you could ever meet (from the "other side" of our office building came in) one is a mother and the other is a friend, so I am assuming the guys felt I needed womanly support. They checked it out and were also confused. The color of my hand was changing from blue to my own "10 shades of grey", things were not looking good. I went ahead and called my doctors office, it was almost 1045, and of course I told the lady on the phone my hand was blue and could I please come in for an appointment. Her response, "well, you can come in at 130". I said it again, "my hand is blue, should I be alarmed? Did she think I was having a stroke?" Really, I am blue. The lady stayed strong with her 130. I decided maybe I should just go down to the clinic where you do not have to have an appointment "walk-in", I honestly thought if there was a line, people might move outta the way if they saw Ole Blue Handed Foresee walking into the line. So, I told my work, I will be back in a few minutes, I am gonna take my lunch. No one thought it was safe for me to drive, so they drew straws and Andy had to follow me. Anyways, I get to the car call my mother and explain my strange symptom to my momma (mommas know everything), but she had no clue about this and told me to call her after my appointment was over. Then I called Aron and asked if he would still love me if I for some reason had a blue hand, he was confused and said to just call later after my appointment.
On my drive over to the office, I started thinking about being blue. Would my hand go back to it's normal pale color (I am cool with being pale, sure I struggled some in school when people would act like I was blinding them with my bright white skin (thank you Thris Twitzer) or when some would call me Lilly because of the whiteness (thank you Ron Black). Blue... sure. The pain in my hand was going a little further up my arm, would it turn blue too? Blue.
There are a lot of cool blue people.
There was that supermodel turned actress... Rebecca Romaijn
There was that movie that won those awards... Avitar. People really loved those blue guys.
There was Smurfette. She was blue and had blonde hair. (Hello, that is so me)
Veruca from Wonka and his Chocolate Factory... but she was super horrible and blew up like a blueberry.
Holy, moly, was I gonna blow up like Veruca? Sweet Jesus!
Okay, there are not really a lot of great things that are blue...
Well, the drs (yes, plural) came in and reviewed my hand (just as I thought, they were a lil concerned). There was talk of blood clots, they could only feel a pulse in one artery at my wrist, things were not looking good guys. I started to get a lil bit worried/ anxious/ sweating/ tingly/ light headed (it was as if I just took some pill with the craziest side effects ever). They said, "you really need to go to the ER". Wha? I then asked if one of them could drive me, and that was not an option. (whatev). So I called Aron on speaker (and he was not even close to town) the dr said they were going to call an ambulance to take me to the ER. Ugh. You guys, my husband is so funny. I really love him. He makes me laugh. His reaction to the dr (word for word), "umm, wont that be expensive?" I just yelled at the phone, forget it, it was just my life, and I would call someone else. I laugh now, but laughing then... I WAS NOT! I called my parents and my daddy was there within minutes. I was seriously looking at my daddy as he walked in, thinking to myself, would this be some of my last moments with my daddy? I just knew that I was obviously dying. We got to the car and he drove like he was a Paul Walker (God rest his soul) extra in Fast and the Furious.
We got there and checked in, just me, my daddy, and my blue hand.
My momma got there a few minutes later.
I was feeling strange and nervous. Then out of the blue walks Andrew Davenport (this is his real name, because if you do not know him you should, he is the kindest guy, and I went to high school with him, and have only seen him 1 time since high school (and that was ages ago). Funny thing about old Andrew, he had contacted my a few weeks prior, he was going through a tough time (I will not go into detail) but needed to speak to someone and did not know who to talk to and just thought, I need to talk to Caryn. I talked to Andrew for about 20 minutes that day, and just prayed with him about his situation, and just tried to be a peace to him in his time of need. So it was very "out of the BLUE" that he thought to contact me when he so needed a friend, and I am in a stressful not good moment and God sends him in to help me. Andrew works at the hospital, was off that day, but had to come in to do some test (random), sees me there, and he sat down with me and my parents and just prayed. The peaceful feeling that I had at that moment was just what I needed. Thank you Andrew. (So, people, go getta friend like Andrew).
He leaves and in comes my Aron, and then I was taken back to the ER. For a few hours we (myself, Aron, and Daddy) sat back there waiting for answers. I mean my hand was still blue/ gray.
I had some blood work, x rays, and even ultrasounds of my arms, chest, neck. I just laid on the table during the ultrasound not even knowing what I was looking at on the screen, I would ask the lady if everything looked okay and she could not tell me any details and I would have to wait for the doctor. (Hello, nerve wracking!) I even asked her to blink 3 times if it was bad, she just did not even blink (I honestly think that her eyeballs looked a little dry and that she wanted to blink she just maintained big open eyeballs (it was amazing.... like circus amazing)
(yes, I know it is a cat with bulging eyes, but the people just looked to crazy to post, thus the wide eyed kitty)
It is always crazy, things like this that make you realize what is most important. Here I am laying on a table, on what I thought would just be a "Monday".
I had a wonderful morning with my babies... I love them so...
I was just chasing them into school, pinching their booties as I embarrassingly sang the Frozen song "Let It Go".
Would I be going into some surgery shortly?
Thinking I did not even hug my Momma before I went into the back of the ER,
and man I really wanted her to be sitting there holding my hand at that moment.
I was remembering all of my most favorite moments with my Daddy,
ugh, he is simply the most amazing man I have ever known, besides Jesus.
Then, my brothers.
They did not even know where I was. Do they know how much I love them, I had not even talked to them in a few days?
My sisters, it was Katie's birthday the next day, 16! She was going to be 16!
My SIL, LeAnne,
I think that she is one of the strongest bravest women I know, but does she know that?
ugh, I am so in love with him, and am I going to stroke out momentarily and leave him alone with Larry and Moe? I hate the idea of being away from him for a day of work, I just love to be with him and by his side. Does he truly know how much he means to me? I should have told him more everyday and kissed him more.
Yes, all of these thoughts were going through my head during these ultrasounds. What if there was a blood clot, would have to go into surgery, what if something goes wrong and I do not make it?
Geez, who knew the day was going to be like this?
After what felt like days of waiting the doctor finally came to talk with us, and said my blood work was good, x rays show no cracks/ breaks to my arm/ wrist/ hands, and the ultrasound shows no blockage (I had excellent blood flow). Then she said that I need to make an appointment with my regular doctor and have some more tests, but she felt that I have Raynaud's Phenomenon.
Ummm, alrighty then.
My father: (Rain Man?)
My Aron: (Rayon?)
She said some people have this and it deals with the blood flow to their extremities (like the blood vessels/ capillaries) spasm and stop flowing blood making you turn blue, gray, black, even white. It can happen to your hands, your fingers, feet and toes, your nose (eek), your ears (yikes), and ladies your nip$%#@ (holy moly)! I have only experienced the left hand, but it can be painful (yah), feel tinlgly like your parts are asleep (uh huh), and there is nothing that can be done to stop it (just great). It can happen when you are stressed or very cold. They suggested having mittens handy??
My thoughts.... like Michael Jackson
Or I could move my hands/ feet in circular motions to help with blood flow or running warm water over the affected part. Here is the kicker, some people just have this and that is that, but then others have this and it is because they have Lupus. So, some further testing will help us to figure out which syndrome I have.
Anyways, there is my Monday.
So, if you see me around town, and I am rocking some gloves in the Wal-Mart, or I am looking a little blue, do not be alarmed, it is just my Raynauds.