The day I died on Northwest 2nd Street...

I know it has been a week or so since my last post... honestly, we have been in full swing of little people sports (baseball for him, soccer for her, ninja class for him, soccer for him, dance for her, and then there is running club and scouts for each)!  When we get home, showered, fed, and clean up the house  that was a lie... that ain't happening, I normally just crawl into the bed and watch t.v. (did I mention that half of the time this happens the kids are still up... I am such a slacker momma (go ahead and judge away))!  So, the late nights when I like to blog, are spent binge watching When Calls the Heart (I am dying over this show... it is kinda Little House on the Prairie meets Aunt Becky from Full House, I am obsessed).  Anyways, so much to chat about... just so lil time to do so (ya catch what I'm saying?)

Anyways, today.  Today, I died.  Literally.  Right on 2nd Street, right off of the main square.  Go ahead, drive on by, you may still see the chalk outline of my body and Chick-fila drink (size LARGE).

Lemme tell ya bout 2nd Street at 7:40 in the morning.  It is busy friends.  So busy, that buses are pulling out of our parking (PTL no children are on the buses, parents are lined up waiting in the traffic because let's be honest a 4 way stop in this town is S-L-O-W!  I mean really, what is so confusing to the people at this 4 way??  SMH  Then there are all of the people who are not those school moms and dads who have just been in the dreaded drop off line at school... then there are the people just trying to go to work annoyed to slow down in the school zones (yeah... I see you Range Rover guy, young lady on your cell phone (hello, you are in a school zone), and then there is always the "clown" truck fulla men trying to get to the next yard to mow... you are annoyed with your long wait)!  So, erry day, I walk into our office in full view of all of these people, completely stopped.  I am normally watching the ground in front of me, because if I fell, I just might not make it back up (with the whole gimpy leg thing).  Today is a different kinda day.  I am walking, but am holding my purse (which is the size of Texas, filled with all of the essentials... snacks for kids (old orange and half eaten bag of Goldfish), receipts from January (it is April), a sketch book (like I sketch), markers for kids to use at church (it is Wednesday), empty Advil bottles (I am a junkie), deodorant (because you just never know), and then my wallet (which doubles as a small purse holding maxed out credit cards and NO CASH... who has cash?).  Anyway, my bag weighs as much as a toddler, and I am also carrying a crock pot.  I have two to bring in, but remember I only have two arms and one good leg, and did I mention the toddler purse??  Anyways, I am walking, watching the sidewalk, feeling the cool breeze, glancing over at the traffic sitters (they are even watching because, hello, I am a hobbler and I am holding all of the stuff.... they are praying for entertainment!  Did I mention that breeze is blowing my hair to and fro (not in an attractive wind blowing hair moment where I am modeling for Victoria's Secret), my hair is lit-terally blowing to an afro!  I am looking super attractive, in fact, why are these traffic sitters not trying to get my number??

So, walking, then the blowing... did I mention I am in a skirt.  A flowy cottony tshirt material like skirt.  Well.... woosh, the wind, and UP BLOWS MY SKIRT!!
I.... DIE...

The wind lasted for what felt like an hour, as I stood there in the wind tunnel with my skirt over my crock pot, revealing my panty covered ninny parts!  Y'all, I coulda dropped all of my stuff to push my skirt down, but noooooooooo- I instead try to use my elbows to push my skirt down (did I mention I do not have Go-Go Gadget elbows?  As I am pushing with my elbows, I am for some reason going into a squat motion (possibly because I was dying, not sure), but as I am squatting I am thinking sweet Jesus this is what I would be looking like if I was squatting in some sort of forest setting... trying to pee (did I mention one of my legs doth not bend well)?!

I probably looked like I was just takin a poo right there on 2nd!

Don't ya know those sitters were just thinking, this is sooooo sad.

What a special girl.

The whole time, my mother is on the speaker phone with me and I am giving her the most horrific play by play!

I just keep saying I am not even wearing nice panties!

What am I even talking about?

Like I even own nice panties!

I finally made it in the office, shared the ultimate sadness (which is my life) with my friends inside, but y'all, a little piece of me will forever be on that sidewalk in our downtown area.

Just been one of those days....