Now, I am really counting my blessings.

I love it when you have an real good ahh ha moment.

Have you had one lately?

Well, today was just one of those days when I seriously had to take a good long look at myself, and wonder, "o my gosh girl what is going on with you?"

I will go ahead and set it up for ya, we all know I am not one that is too often short on words. So, for the past few weeks, I have been feeling a wee bit whiney. I know right, this is the time of the year where we go big on "thanks" and "giving" and "loving one another", but I have been so focused on what is not right with me and my goings ons. I feel like sometimes, I would not even want to be my own friend. I am texting my friends that I am ready for a girls night, I am competing with my husband saying that I am doing more baby feedings and diaper changes, I am complaining that I have not slept through the night since I had children, I think that Aron is on call too much, the laundry is not ever done, there is never enough money for us to take that vacation to Disney the beach and then to Paris, I am tweeting that I am tired of being tired, I am facebooking that my babies are grumpy and need a time out (when I am probably the one that should be in it). Some days, I look at the clock and it is 1 in the afternoon and the kids are so grumpy for a nap and I am longing for it to just be 845, if I can just make it till 845.

(I know right, you probably don't even want to read the rest of the post because it is so much mememememewhaawhaawhaa!)

I used to long for these times. When I dated, all I wanted was to have a husband. When we got married I was so quick to want the next step and wanting to be a mommy. Then I had to go through fertility issues and could not start having children ASAP. I wanted to do all of these grown up things, and now it is here and I am trying to RUSH THROUGH OF THIS SEASON OF MY LIFE.

It is so sad. I think that there are others of you out there that are like this. You do not have to say so, if you are.

There are the people that are hitting their alarms at 645 Monday morning and you are wishing that it was already 530pm, and you are on your way home from work. Then, there are the people that are just to the Wednesday of the week, and wishing that is was Friday. Then the rest of you may be the people that are lounging on your couch on Saturday night thinking- gez the day is almost done, and you are planning for your next Saturday.

Am I right or am I right? Yal holla if ya hear me?

We are contanstly rushing through these moments and I am beginning to think that if I do not slow down and embrace the place I am in, I just might miss it.

Here is the moment. Ya ready.

This morning, I received an email about a friend of mines father who has been battling cancer. He and his family were told that his cancer is growing, despite the extensive treatments he has been doing. Earth shattering news for them. Then, they went on to say that his time is limited. Heart breaking.

This news made me cry and then really think about my own life. Life is so very fragile. We are not promised tomorrow. We do not know how much time we have left on this Earth. I have so much to be thankful for right now, and I really need to be embracing this time of my life (because this time that I think is so stressful and not fun at the moment, could be someone elses joyous time that they would long to be in.

One day my babies will be grumpy teens and only want to be with their friends. I will long for those days when they are constantly at my feet saying momma momma and following me in the bathroom.

One day my babies will be moving out of my home to go to college or whatever dream they may want to pursue. I will long for those days when I can just go in their room and pick them up from their naps even though they were so very fussy!

One day the people that are stressing me out may not be here for me to call anymore. I will long for those days when my friends are here for me to call and go and see.

One day my parents may not be a phone call away. I will long for those early morning phone calls from my momma and the random evening that I make a dinner and my parents just happen to pop in to be fed- love that.
One day I may wake up and my husband will not be snoring so loudly in the bed causing me a no sleep night. I will long for those days when he was making me crazy and making me so very happy all in the same breath.

There you have it, starting today, well tonight, I am giving myself a attitude change. I am going to choose to see the joy in things, find a way to delight myself with the little things that I may be skipping over each day.

I am going to count each one of my blessings.

I am so fortunate to have a husband, my babies, my parents, my family, my husband working so I can be at home, my faith, food on the table, a house for my table to sit in, clothes to wear.

I am so Thankful for all of these things, because tomorrow, these things could be gone and I would probably be wishing for that season of my life that I was just wishing would move a whole lot faster.

Love to you all.

Caryn

Please pray for my friend's father, Rick, and the rest of their family as they are going through this season.

Also, please pray for my friends mother in law, Susan. She is very ill at this time with cancer and lymphoma and has been suffering from seizures today.