Tuesday, March 20, 2018

A Labradoodles Doodie...

Ever have one of those days where you wonder if you are being secretly videoed my John Quinones?  Y'all do remember John Quinones... don't you?
He was the guy that could possibly jump out on you and ask you why you would not stop a mean nasty person from doing something completely despicable.  I loved the show, and felt I would always be the person that would stand up for the person that was getting the shaft.  #WWYD
Anyways, today, my John Quinones moment...
If you have been reading here for a long time... you may remember that I once shared a story about crazy cat lady around the corner.  Yes, I am talking about a neighbor in our hood (pretty sure she doesn't read this blog, because she is not super friendly and honestly, I just don't see her as a girl that would really get me... ya know.)   If I were out, and I saw her, I would not think.... hummmmmm, I think that we would totally connect.  #Nope #NotHappening  I will go ahead and change the names of all parties involved... .just in case!
Anyways, back in the day, when I was still pg with Sophia.  The man friend and I were out walking our sweet show dog Chip.  We are walking by this neighborhood house, and the people came out of their garage...
I could instantly could read man friends thoughts....
o my gohhhhh- I don't wanna talk
please be walking out to get your mail
we do not wanna be a parta your friend out reach program....
I was feeling it too, and I probably needed to pee.  #IAmNottaFanOfStrangers
these people are the male/ female version of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons...
Yes, Ned Flanders.
So, the "Flanders" come out to meet the Foresees.
We are all... nice weather
They are all... how far along are you
I am all... I love your landscaping (really, I was reaching, landscaping, sheeze)
Then out walks their demon cat.
Sweet show dog sees demon sit down behind them, and his tail is a wagging
Then demon cat lunges out at our sweet boy dog and attacks his face and bloodied his lil chip nose!
I was horrified!
All the "Flanders" did was oh... he never does that!
I was already thinking you and your crazy cat better just stay on your side of the block!
Anyway, years go by, I have 2 children and still the show dog (kinda a joke, because "show dog" often looks grey even though he is white... so he is sooooo not a show dog)!  #GoAheadAlertAnimalRightsPeople #TrustMeHeIsLovedBIG
So, me and my brood are walking the dog, and it turns out the "Flanders" not only have demon cat, but also a questionable son.  He was holding a sweet bunny, and asked my littles if they want to see it.  Of course, before I could hold them away from a stranger, they darted to the bunny holding lil Flander.  After a moment, they walked back to the dog and I and we continue our walk.  The kids barely had their heads turned from him, and the kid/ teen kinda drops the bunny to demon cat... like a lil sacrifice.  The kids saw the cat kinda bouncing the bunny back and forth in his paws, and immediately started crying.
Once again.... these people and their nutjob cat better keep their distance.
It has been years since this last incident.  If I see these people out, I just act like I am on the phone, and if I am not holding a phone, I just start talking like I was holding a phone.  Maybe they think I am a nut job and wanna keep their distance.... #AGirlCanOnlyDream
So, picture it.  Everyday I come home, I walk our furry friends.  Sometimes it is just down the street, sometimes it is around the block.  Remember, I am still a bit hobbly and it is still a struggle getting around the block with the dogs.... they kinda drag me about.
Well, today, I decide to go that extra bit and walk them around the block.  It was cool and windy with a bit of a sprinkle, and these dogs are not the best leash walkers, but whatev, they were so happy.  We are approaching the "Flanders" house and the dogs leashes are fully extended and I am just trying to catch up to them. They both stop right in front of the Flanders house and are smelling something...like noses in the grass smelling somethings!  Guess who pulls up... you gots it... Nedina Flanders!
She sees me and how I am almost to the dogs, I then realize they are smellin poo!  I jerked their leashes back to get them back from it, because... ewwwe, gross.
She gets out of her car, and I just smile and then look forward.
She says, "are you going to pick that up"?
First of all... I did not like her snippy tone, I mean did she just suck helium from 10 balloons?
The dogs are already ahead of me, and I am still kinda walking and I say, "that's not my poop".
This is where I would insert a smiley emoji or the one of the girl with her hands up in the air.
Ole Helium looks at me, with this face... a yeah right face!
She then says, "so... you're not going to pick that up?"
Now, I am concerned that she has had a stroke and just does not understand the words coming out of my mouth!
Once again, a bit louder.... that ain't my poop (it was direct, no smile).  I have even embarrassed myself, as I do not like poo or discussing things and their bodily functions, but I have just yelled across a driveway "that ain't my poop"!
She then says, well, I will just go and get a bag for it to be cleaned up, did you just not bring a bag with you?
At this point, I am looking around... where is John Quinones?
This woman brings me a Harps bag, to clean up this $h!%.
I could feel my face getting hot...
Needless to say, I picked up the poop (which obvi woulda never come outta my teeny sized dogs).  It was def a Labradoodles doodie!
She just walked away as I picked it up.
I mean, should I have just run down the road?
I am not fast, nor do I run!  She woulda caught me and unleashed demon cat!
As I took the walka shame from the Flanders house holding someone else's crap, I was trying to keep my thoughts sweet... but y'all?!  What in the world?
She bullied me to pick up someone else's poo!
Had I not thrown it away, I would go right now in my robe and slippers and put it right on her doorstep!
I am sure there is a lesson to be learned with this... but I am just not sure what it is.

So... what would you have done?  Keep on walkin' or shovel up some one else's mess?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Next time tell her if she wants it picked up to pick it up herself. Not your dogs doody, not your property, not your problem.