Friday, March 30, 2018

My cups runneth over...

Oh, my people!  So many fun pictures from our last minute trip to the Tulsa Zoo this past week, but this one is my favorite!!  Could I be any happier??  My cup runneth over!
I know what y'all are thinking... this is gonna be all about how their zoo trip was the best family day, what fun they had, how happy they are.... welp, not today!  All of those things are true, but note that the title post is "My CUPS runneth over"
If you have read here for any amount of time, you know that I have shared a time or two where I have experienced my less than glamourous undergarment stories!  The latest was when I was asked if I was working undercover because of the underwire was hanging out of my button up shirt!!  Gee-zah Louisa!  Wonder what ever happened to that lil Wal-Mart checker outter?
Anyways, I had another bra-tastic moment!  This past week, while sitting at my desk, I had a terrible stinging pain in my chest.  I knew for sure that I had been bitten by a recluse!  Turns out that it was just the underwire coming out of my bra, stabbing me to death!  Why does this always happen to me... in public places!  Why can it not happen at home, on my couch?  Anyway, after work on Monday, I went out on the great bra hunt.  I never do this, hate to spend money on myself, especially bras!  That is so ridic since it is a necessary thing for a lady (unless you are into free ballin' bubbies"... so not my thing, as I do not want to injure the innocent)!  I am out picking through these bras, I was just going off the sizes that I could kinda read on the old bras in my drawers (there was barely any print left).  I was looking for 38C.  Everyone I tried on was a hot mess express!  Things were tight, coming outta the sides, and the cups were running over!  So, I went and asked the little lady out front to come and measure me.  #SheWasHelpful
I wish I could get her to share with you what she saw.  I looked like a pig being stuffed into a pair a spanx!  Super unattractive!
(If any of the 10s reading are men... so sorry, I'm taken!  Don't want to burst your bubble as I ain't no Victoria Secret model... did my hobble walk give it away?)
So anyways, lady comes in and measures and says that I am an odd size.
#Thanks #RudeMuch
She says I measure at a 34.5, so I should wear a 36??
Then she says my cup size is a D
nope DD
DDD
a fa-reeking E!!
Well, SMH
No wonder my bra game has been crazy lately.  I am shoving things in constantly, then things are running over the sides, my poor ole bubbies could not even breathe!  I am been keeping them under TOO TIGHT of a restraint!
But, really, and E
#EStandsForElephantitus
#OfTheBubbies
I left the store feeling a bit defeated (not deflated, if I was deflated, I might be less than an E).
Have I just let myself go?  If so, why is everything going to my lady bits?  Shouldn't it be distributed a bit more evenly?  I could not even find an E size!  Does this size exist?  Where would one go?  The Big and Busty store?  Is that at the Pinnacle Mall?

Anyways, so my cups (my family cup and bra cup) well, I can honestly say, "they are all running over"

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