Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Almost Died...of Embarrassment

So, today was just one of those days. My sweetie pie is still a little sickly, I sure hope that she did not get my Steve Urkel genes! I tell ya what, two visits to the church nursery, a birthday party for our girl Harper, and a play date with some friends (the immune system could totally not handle it). Boy, it sure was so much fun though... Sophia has a cold and is producing the most snot I have ever seen (it is so not normal)! Poor baby even has a cough and then on top of that she is cutting two of her bottom teeth. She could not catch a break!! I am very hopeful that she is on her way to recovery, keep her in your prayers!

On a funnier note, have you ever done something so silly that you almost died?? I know I have done so many things, I am so known for having such embarrassing moments... let me take you on a trip down memory lane.........

Picture it, date night, I got to go out on a date with the cutest/ older boy. We will call him Shane Red, well I totally thought that he was the cutest guy ever and was so nervous as this was early in the dating career. Well, this sweet guy takes me to dinner, we are talking, I am picturing our futures together (me dancing on the drill team and him coming to watch a game and I see him in the stands waving at him) I know dumb but that is what I was probably thinking at the time. Anyways, we get our dinner salad and I dig in. Needless to say, I am not a multi-tasker, trying to talk and eat is totally not my thing. I lift the fork to my huge yapping mouth and miss and stab my face. Nice. I was mortified. I do not think that we went out on any other dates. He probably wanted a girl that could feed herself..

Not embarrassing enough, here is another... recently I went on a shopping trip to Wal-Mart. I am so that girl that smells all of the deodorants, lotions, shampoos and conditioners (before I purchase them). Lord knows, if I did not do this I would chose the one that smells like bug repellent! So I am in the soap aisle, of course it is packed, these aisles are so small, and no one likes a sniffer. People are just staring at me thinking, "hey afro puff move it or lose it." I stand my ground, I refused to just grab and go! So, I take a bottle of Dove off of the shelf (love Dove), hold it up to my nose, do a little squeeze (to make the scent come up), and it happened....Dove soap exploded all up my nose and onto my face. Totally thought I would melt right into the floor. I looked up, to see how many people saw and if I knew any of them. Fortunately, I knew none of the 6 people, so I looked in my purse for something to wipe my face with, I only had a shrivel of a used tissue and an old receipt. So I wiped what I could and with my face down walked to the baby aisles bc they are the closest. I found a baby toy with a mirror and wiped off the rest of the white soap from my face.

When I worked for Wal-Mart and was like 22ish, I had a huge crush on a boy (whom I had never met only seen). We will call him Ryan, since that was his name and I am not holding anything back on these stories. He was so adorable, I just knew that we would have been so happy together if only we met. Wrong. So, I am walking down the hall to go to the copy room. OMG, here he was walking down the hall, towards me, probably going to the bathroom behind me, but he was so walking towards me!! I smiled, a smile I had probably practiced a bajillion times in the mirror, and then I turned to walk in to the copy room. Womp-womp, turned too soon and walked into the side of the door. Tried to play it cool after that, but how on earth could you recover. I guess we know how that ended, right there!

Then today, Lovey had finally decided to take a nap. I was super pumped because it was very nice today (like 60 degrees, the sun was shinning). So, I walked to the front yard to look at the flower beds. I looked so good today, let me tell ya! I was wearing my white tennis shoes, black socks with colorful dots, black leggings that have been washed so many times they are almost grey, and a super nice too small light heather grey sweatshirt. My make up was to die for and my hair a frizzy mess. I must mention the spit up on my back right shoulder and the dried snot on the front of my shirt. Stop traffic, totally could have done it!! So, the time when I last checked was about 407, Aron would be home any moment. I knew he would be impressed if I had Sophia down for a nap, dinner made, and then was pulling weeds, hello greatest wife ever!! Well, I was bending down (I bend from the waist down, bad knees, so I choose to bend over with my booty in the air, attractive, I know.) I could see as I was bending over that Aron was pulling onto the street, so I thought it would be funny to bend and snap (Legally Blonde) (like o-yea here is your hottie tottie wifey), well I totally did the bend and flop, I went head over hills into the boxwood bush. As if that was not embarrassing enough, Aron did not even pull into the driveway, because it was not even Aron, just a look alike. The car slowed as if to check out the circus side show with their rear end sticking out of the bushes, then just drove off. I am sure that I made it look like I was looking very closely at some new species of insect, betting that they saw right through that one! I walked quickly to go into the house, to make sure I did not have anything in my hair or on my face. Only one tiny scratch below my left temple. Then I picked up crying Sophia (she probably knew what had just happened and was crying for me) and went back out to the flower bed. I still have not told Aron about my nose dive. Maybe when he is having a bad day.

I have so many other times when I just thought the world would end, I think that I do silly things everyday!! What are some of your most embarrassing stories, or am I alone in this? What do they say, If you cannot laugh at yourself, then you can laugh at others? Or, I do not know, can't remember.

Love yal!!


Nancy Bane said...

Oh my word, Caryn, you're totally cracking me up!!!

Anonymous said...

i just peed my pants. thank you very much. i love you frizz-ball! :)

karen said...

Thanks for the good laugh:)